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Comments

• FourPacketsOfPeanuts@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  “I want to get to know you”

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  • adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Or… “To get to know you better, and your response has helped me do that. Thanks!”

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• MapleEngineer@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Walk away. You don’t need that in your life.

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• Diddlydee@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  ‘I was just showing an interest like a normal human, you grumpy prick’ would be my reply.

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  • insomniacalmond@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    LMAO

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• spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  There is no better response, they clearly don’t want to share with you at that moment in time. That could be due to not wanting to share in general, because they think you are prying, or because they are getting some kind of vibe from you that makes it seem like you are fishing for information that could be used against them later.

  Like if someone I didn’t know out of the blue asked me what kind of languages I speak it would be weird unless there was something that lead up to the question. I’m saying that as a person with ADHD that has tons of random questions!

  If it is someone you know, but don’t know very well like a coworker, offering something about yourself first tends to break the ice. Not going into a bunch of detail, but just introducing it as something you do. Like if I want to ask about someone’s hobbies I would lead with one of two of mine first: “I work to support my hobbies, which I tend to bounce between and are currently gaming on the PC and some easy woodworking.” That makes it sound like I want a conversation and not just wanting to make the conversation about them. If they ask about mine and don’t volunteer, I might ask when they have asked enough that it seems like looping around to theirs would be good so it isn’t all about me.

  So if you want to know about someone else, showing interest but also sprinkling in the opportunity for them to ask about you makes for a more welcoming conversation with most people. Some people won’t want to talk about themselves at all, which is their choice and something you can’t force.

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  • insomniacalmond@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    TYSM!! There is a leadup although i just met them.

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    • spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      If you will be interacting with them regularly I recommend focusing on the things that are happening around you and then asking about other stuff after a while to keep it from sounding like you are prying.

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• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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• frankenswine@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  “i’d like to get to know you”?

  optionally with a not-sure-how-you-meant-it compliment, like: “i thought you were likable”

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• GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Does this happen to you often?

  Seems like context would be helpful. I’m not sure I’ve personally been responded to this way when trying to get to know someone.

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  • insomniacalmond@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    i js met them, thats prob why

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    • GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sure, but online, in person, a work gathering, the park, a web forum, etc.

      Just seems like an intense response. That tells me that it’s in a context where people are normally anonymous or maybe it’s a public internet setting (e.g. like here)… or… they might have some serious distrust issues… 😬

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    • Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      If you just met them, you’re likely asking to deep or personal of a question for the current relationship.

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