Lmao the onion always saves the best for the end
Biden, Trump Die 2 Minutes Apart Holding Hands
Submitted 6 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://www.theonion.com/biden-trump-die-2-minutes-apart-holding-hands-1850282375
Comments
bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Thanks. Without your comment I’d have been content with the headline on this one.
bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
They’re really good at putting a cherry on top on the last line. Highly recommend you always check it even when skimming. It seems to be basically a requirement among their contributors.
ReCursing@kbin.social 6 months ago
Same. The headline amused me, the final line actually made me laugh out loud
distantsounds@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Todd_cross@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
They were merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can you think of a better way, I’d like to hear it.
mrgreyeyes@feddit.nl 6 months ago
Long protein strings? You mean they cum on each other? Thank you for the mental image buddy.
littletranspunk@lemmus.org 6 months ago
If only if only
theluddite@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
I have been predicting for well over a year now that they will both die before the election, but after the primaries, such that we can’t change the ballots, and when Americans go to vote, we will vote between two dead guys. Everyone always asks “I wonder what happens then,” and while I’m sure that there’s a technical legal answer to that question, the real answer is that no one knows,
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Fairly sure at that point Kamala Harris becomes president the moment Biden dies. Harris then needs to pick a VP, and the republican party would be fucked. Has trump even picked a new VP?
I personally think it would be hilarious if Mike Pence created the TRU.MP PARTY. Thats right. The Tru Mike Pence Party. Tru being a way to make the whole thing copyrightable. Like Tru.Moo Milk.
It would be just ABSOLUTE hilarity if Pence split the republican ticket with people that thought they were voting for trump.
I’m sure there would be MORE lawsuits, but I’m not sure if trump can afford MORE legal costs.
God this plan makes me laugh over how its equal parts witty and downright idiotic. Basically a mockery of our election system. Which is why its the perfect representation of where we are right now.
samus12345@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Harris then needs to pick a VP, and the republican party would be fucked.
This would be great, but would they be? She was a very unpopular candidate in 2020.
mkwt@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Here’s my recollection from civics class:
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Each state makes their own laws about whether and when a dead candidate can be replaced on the ballot. It’s entirely possible that citizens in some states would vote for dead candidates, while citizens in other states are voting for different candidates.
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Remember you’re actually voting for the electors that are listed underneath each (now presumed dead) presidential candidate. States make their own laws on how strictly the electors actually have to vote for the guy they pledged to. In many states, there’s no penalty for being a “faithless” elector, and so in this scenario I would imagine that many electors in this situation would exercise their prerogative to vote for a living person who is eligible to hold the office. Perhaps even a re-nominee from their party.
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Electors meet in their state capitols to sign and transmit the real ballots to Congress. However they decide to vote based on the above, I think it’s important to the constitution that this happens by a deadline (December 18?), and if that is missed, we may be in real constitutional crisis territory.
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After meeting, swearing in new members, and electing a house speaker (I really hope they can elect a speaker), Congress meets in a joint session to count the real ballots from step 3. This process is in the constitution. This is the process that was interrupted by a mob on Jan. 6, 2021. Under the constitution, Congress can only go against what the ballots say if there’s a tie, in which case the house votes for president on a one state, one vote basis.
4a. As seen in 2021, Congress could conceivably engage in a deliberative process to determine whether ballots that are presented are real, legitimate ballots or not. The constitution doesn’t actually allow them to do this. This is a real weakness in the system. If Congress isn’t allowed to adjudicate ballot legitimacy, then who is? Apparently no one.
4b. There’s also no alternate process if the majority of elector ballots have elected a dead person. Presumably Congress is required to declare that person President.
- Constitution also says the next president’s term starts on Jan. 20, 2025, at noon eastern, period. No ifs, ands, or buts. If Biden dies in office, his VP Kamala Harris will assume the duties. But that term ends on this date, and the fact that she ascended would have no direct bearing on whether she appears on any presidential ballot.
5a. This turnover deadline literally has no exceptions. If it is missed for any reason, we’re probably in real serious constitutional crisis territory.
5b. If, per 4b, Congress declared that a dead person was elected president, I imagine that person would have a hard time showing up to inauguration on Jan 20. In this case I think that once the turnover has occurred, the normal line succession, which is 17 people deep*, can be used to swear in the next president.
5b1. In this scenario, next up would be the vice president-elect from the elector ballots, probably sworn into the vice presidency first. Third in line is the speaker of the house (I really, really hope they can elect a speaker). Then President Pro Tempore of the senate (the longest serving senator), then cabinet secretaries.
*Most of the 17 are cabinet secretaries. These do not expire automatically when the presidential term expires on Jan. 20. This means that all of the old president’s secretaries are still in the line of succession (unless they foolishly submitted resignation letters) until a president is sworn in and either fires them or makes them resign.
**The presidential term starts at a precise date and time, but a president must swear the oath of office. Both things are in the constitution, so what happens when the time arrives, but the new president isn’t sworn in?
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sincle354@kbin.social 6 months ago
Putin shared a tearful memory of the times they shared on the website formerly know as Twitter, just minutes before he was found dead after exiting a window fifteen stories high.
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
He had never used Twitter though.
I feel like he’d want The Red Button put on the side of his bed and never told it isn’t connected to anything.
itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
We’d all be happy but think of the shit show that would follow.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Probably much better than the 4 year shit show that would otherwise happen, though 🤷
samus12345@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This headline scared me, as nice as Trump being gone would be. The GOP would have a good chance at winning against President Harris with whatever shitbag they offered up.
jackiechan@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 6 months ago
And if you can’t dream (because this capitalistic hellscape has stolen them all) a man can meme.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 months ago
And if you can’t meme (because you’re like me, and too old) a man can … soup.