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Comment on how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?

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nepenthes@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

As a Canadian, have you ever met a Canada goose?

I feel you OP.

Also, telling someone they should be embarrassed is toxic. WTF is with all the shaming on Lemmy lately? Be better.

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Jamablaya@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
no, it’s literally embarrassing. But I’m from western canada, we worry about being attacked by bear not fucking chickens.

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Jamablaya@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I’m also from the land of “Fuck Trudeau”. Canadians older than 12 scared of geese are even more embarrassing than this question.

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tilefan@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
well hold on, a Canada goose can get up to 14 lb easily, the brown pelican tops out at 6.9 lb, and doesn’t have a cobra neck so your only options aren’t attack the head & neck or do nothing.

like if there’s a group of kids around, I’d rather they go home with a story about how I got beaten up by a goose then the trauma of the memory of a pudgy middle-aged man smashing a goose’s head in front of them. I remember when I was like five and Animal Control had to come to my school and shoot a raccoon because they thought it had rabies, I got pretty emotional about that. heck, here I am talking about it more than 30 years later.

plus if anybody records it, no matter how much anybody acknowledges they don’t want to be bitten by a goose, I’m still going to be branded a heartless goose killer and probably doxxed. there’s a lot at play here

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- nepenthes@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  I’m not sure you meant to reply to me? I was just tryin to stick up for you against Johnny No-Posts.
  
  I never advocated Bird Violence; I am Friend to Bird and had three bestie Steller’s Jays during the lockdown. They visited multiple times a day for nuts, and would wait for me on the patio.
  
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  - tilefan@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    oh, I wasn’t trying to be dickish about it, but I was pointing out that fighting a Canada goose is much different than fighting a pelican. a pelican, there seem to be multiple ways to hold it off without really hurting it, with a goose, the way they attack you can really only go for the head or neck which probably means you’re going to kill it.
    
    I was very high at the time so the rest is pretty much rambling.
    
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    nepenthes@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Ahh ok, clearly I need more weed!
    
    I usually try to slip around geese, and if that fails I book it.
    
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