Being polite and friendly to a person isn’t flirting. Sexless losers who never leave their basement always think a girl being friendly to them is flirting with them.
Comment on Anon tries to understand his coworker
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks agoDon’t flirt with someone single if you’re not interested, don’t flirt with someone in a relationship if you’re not interesting in breaking it.
It’s just that simple.
ntma@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 weeks ago
I wonder if you have a different definition of flirting, because the end goal of flirting is not necessarily to gain a relationship.
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Unless you make it extremely clear from the get go that it’s just for fun then flirting with someone you’re not interested in is risky and even if it was made clear, there’s always a risk something will develop.
protist@mander.xyz 4 weeks ago
It’s never this cut and dry in real life though. People often misinterpret others’ actions as flirting when they’re just being friendly. For some people, a woman smiling and making eye contact is flirting. It’s not on the person who’s being friendly “to make it extremely clear from the get go” that they aren’t interested in going out with you.
anomnom@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
The anon countered this argument with the assertion that co-workers agreed about the level of flirting (which means it was likely pretty obvious). Also lamenting about doing things alone is pretty easy to interpret as a sign/hint about being single.
It was the way anon handled break off that was awkward. Though it’s understandable that his feelings were hurt in that moment, and it may have been difficult to respond thoughtfully.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 weeks ago
Idk, unless you make it extremely clear from the get go that you’re treating an event as a date you shouldn’t be mad if the other person has a partner especially if you never asked if they were single.
angrystego@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Life is risky.
DrFuggles@feddit.org 4 weeks ago
yeah, flirting for fun can be … fun, but obviously OOP wasn’t te only one to read more into that. There’s a line between “platonic” flirting and getting someone’s hopes up.
angrystego@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Miscomunications can happen. She probably wasn’t aware that what she meant as friendly behviour was comming across as serious flirting to other people. No need to instantly suspect malice, she was obviously shocked and shamed by the result, so much so that she quit her job, which seems rather extreme to me.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 weeks ago
I just find it hard to agree with because at no point did anon ask if she was single. He assumed it because he thought she was flirting. He even went so far to ask her on a date.
bastion@feddit.nl 4 weeks ago
Ah, sorry, I thought you were single and that this would be a fun first date. My mistake, and enjoy the home w/your boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with that. Mistakes happen, and the ability to clarify them and work well together afterwards is more important than not making mistakes.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 weeks ago
Not necessarily but very commonly it is. Especially if you keep at it. It’s just something to keep in mind if you do it knowingly. She might’ve not realized.