Comment on Anon pregames
pjwestin@lemmy.world 3 months agoHis reasoning for not sleeping with her was that she had a boyfriend, so it, “wouldn’t be right.” But that girl was so drunk that sleeping with her would have been rape. He did the right thing, but his reasoning was clearly wrong, and implies that if she didn’t have a boyfriend he would have slept with her, even though she could not consent.
I can see what you’re saying, but you are making some assumptions and that’s entirely due to OP being an unreliable narrator.
Throwing up usually purges a lot of the alcohol from your system. OP makes no mention of throwing up themselves, and I’m assuming they were drinking too. That means there’s a solid chance there’s more alcohol in OPs system than hers. You do understand that consent works both ways, yes?
Holy shit, I was going to respond that the first sentence about how there’s no reason to think that OP’s thoughts are different than his words, but GOD DAMN do we need to address the second half of this comment.
So, first of foremost, vomiting will not purge alcohol from your system. If you are drinking so heavily that you’ve thrown up, you are already experiencing alcohol poisoning. Your body is purging your stomach to prevent you from metabolizing any more of the poison, but it’s not removing any of the alcohol that’s already in your bloodstream. Eating bread won’t absorb alcohol, drinking black coffee won’t sober you up; there is only one thing in the world that will remove alcohol from your system, and that is time.
Secondly, you are right, consent works both ways. If the OP had been the one that was throwing up, and the girl had taken advantage of him, then that also would have been rape. But that wasn’t what happened; one person was so drunk she was throwing up, had to be put to bed, and clearly couldn’t consent. The other person was not throwing up, was capable enough to caretake this person, and could get himself home safely. There is zero chance the poster was drunker than the girl.
I tended bar for over ten years, so please take this advice; if you see someone is noticeably drunk, do not sleep with them. If you find yourself in a position where you think, “This person seems drunk, but I’m a little drunk too, so it’s probably OK,” you are already showing reasoning and logic (and therefore ability to consent), and the other person may not be able to do the same.
There is a line between two adults who are attracted to each other using alcohol as a social lubricant and someone who is too drunk to know what they’re doing coming on to you, and I know that line can be blurry when you’re younger. I promise you, as you get older, you’ll have more experience, better instincts, the people around you will stop drinking to excess, and that line will get less blurry. Until then, err on the side of caution, and if there is even the slightest question as to whether someone is too drunk to consent, do not sleep with them.
Do you accept that they were both drunk and that consent works both ways?
Jesus christ, imagine bloviating this much about a drunk person not thinking exactly what you want them to think. I cannot imagine having my head so firmly shoved to my ass.
Well, I’m really sorry if I done something to give you the impression I give a fuck what you think. That definitely wasn’t my intention.
On an empty stomach, blood alcohol concentration peaks about one hour after consumption, depending on the amount drunk
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC543875/
So unless the girl threw up within an hour (give or take) after drinkinging, throwing up won’t do much.
Great, so they were both still drunk. Do you or do you not accept that consent works both ways?
shalafi@lemmy.world 3 months ago
He’s describing what he said, not his thoughts or motivations.
pjwestin@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Yeah, and I’m going to assume that what he said are his thoughts and motivations, since there is literally no evidence to assume otherwise.
warbond@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Assume… No evidence…
You’re saying the right words, but coming to the wrong conclusions
pjwestin@lemmy.world 3 months ago
LOL, no, you’re coming to the conclusion you want to without evidence. This person said twice in their story that it wouldn’t be right to sleep with this girl because she had a boyfriend. He said zero times that it wouldn’t be right to sleep with her because she was too drunk to consent to sex. Why would I come to the conclusion that he was choosing not to sleep with her because she was drunk instead of the reason he stated twice? What evidence is there for your interpretation?