Comment on I've heard it clears up again after the first wave of divorces

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peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

Not necessarily. If she was an anxious attached style she’d be more likely to fall for avoidant men. She could either:

  1. Now recognize the red flags of avoidants and not subject herself to that.
  2. Be unaware of the red flags of avoidants and keep making the same mistake
  3. Recently left a long term relationship as an secure individual and discover how many avoidants really exist.

Of course you are right, she could be avoidant to, in which case hopefully she’ll learn sooner rather than later that fearing intimacy and vulnerability is detrimental, and that healthy codependency is actually a thing. But it’s not easy for them to do so.

I don’t like to think that everyone is incapable of finding someone, people just need to figure out why. Pointing out “single for a reason” seems counterproductive and a bit disrespectful.

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