computers, geography, language learning, cycling come to mind. tbh i find that question really hard to answer when asked directly, maybe because i kind of don’t enjoy my life in general.
WOW thank you! It’s super rare for anyone, let alone a stranger on the internet to care and ask. I appreciate you. You have some personality traits you come across very seldom and I hope you preserve them. I’ll just put it in spoiler tags because it’s long.
spoiler
So, earlier today I drew up a diagram with my age on the x-axis and happiness on the y-axis. There were three times in my life when my happiness was in the positive. The first was when I met someone at school and they seemed to like me and we became mutual best friends. Unfortunately, they cut off all contact for reasons they still don’t want to talk about, so that ended fairly quickly. The second time was when I met an online friend irl, we became best friends instantly and started dating, but because of living on two different continents we couldn’t keep it up, so that was the end of that.
I have an unfulfilled desire for reciprocated best friendship or love. Humans are social animals and I think it makes sense to feel miserable when a basic need that you have is unfulfilled. I’m not suggesting that everyone feels a need for romance or a best friend, but I certainly do. I have zero friends I can turn to in this town. My next closest friend lives 160km away while the second closest is already separated by the English channel.
Oh, the third time in my life I felt happy? Well I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and adolescence for my weight. When I turned 18 and left that toxic environment, I was able to reach a weight that’s considered healthy for the first time in my life. I thought this would be the end of feeling miserable and that my life would start now. That optimism lasted for about a year. Then I realized that nothing has changed and nothing I have ever done has amounted to anything worthwhile.
___
So if I read it correctly, you feel like nothing you have tried had worked in terms of forming meaningful relationships. A lot of people are struggleing to form friendships nowdays. It is hard for me to make helpful suggestions about this, because I’m in a similar position, but I will try.
I suggest searching and joining activities where you can meet people who have the same interests as you. I’m sure you will meet people who like you this way. If this is not feasible because of where you live, I suggest changing this. I think, relationships are a key to a happy life for most people. Last but not least I suggest talking about your hobbies for those who ask and never stop trying, Who knows where this will lead you.
Agreed, my houseplants (one of my hobbies) helps me mentaly, id feel so much worse if i let them down (vs myslef) and i get that much more joy when they are happy with my care (new flower/leaf/etc)
alyth@lemmy.world 2 years ago
computers, geography, language learning, cycling come to mind. tbh i find that question really hard to answer when asked directly, maybe because i kind of don’t enjoy my life in general.
Monster96@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Image
drem@lemmy.world 2 years ago
That sound genuiently sad, but it shouldn’t be. Your hobbies sound totally fine, so I guess something different bothers you…
May I ask what?
Sorry for the question, I feel like holding a conversation today.
alyth@lemmy.world 2 years ago
WOW thank you! It’s super rare for anyone, let alone a stranger on the internet to care and ask. I appreciate you. You have some personality traits you come across very seldom and I hope you preserve them. I’ll just put it in spoiler tags because it’s long.
spoiler
So, earlier today I drew up a diagram with my age on the x-axis and happiness on the y-axis. There were three times in my life when my happiness was in the positive. The first was when I met someone at school and they seemed to like me and we became mutual best friends. Unfortunately, they cut off all contact for reasons they still don’t want to talk about, so that ended fairly quickly. The second time was when I met an online friend irl, we became best friends instantly and started dating, but because of living on two different continents we couldn’t keep it up, so that was the end of that. I have an unfulfilled desire for reciprocated best friendship or love. Humans are social animals and I think it makes sense to feel miserable when a basic need that you have is unfulfilled. I’m not suggesting that everyone feels a need for romance or a best friend, but I certainly do. I have zero friends I can turn to in this town. My next closest friend lives 160km away while the second closest is already separated by the English channel. Oh, the third time in my life I felt happy? Well I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and adolescence for my weight. When I turned 18 and left that toxic environment, I was able to reach a weight that’s considered healthy for the first time in my life. I thought this would be the end of feeling miserable and that my life would start now. That optimism lasted for about a year. Then I realized that nothing has changed and nothing I have ever done has amounted to anything worthwhile. ___
JoShmoe@ani.social 2 years ago
You’re talented and independent. You’re definitely a catch.
Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 2 years ago
That first one happened to me too. I think it’s just a teenage drama thing.
drem@lemmy.world 2 years ago
So if I read it correctly, you feel like nothing you have tried had worked in terms of forming meaningful relationships. A lot of people are struggleing to form friendships nowdays. It is hard for me to make helpful suggestions about this, because I’m in a similar position, but I will try. I suggest searching and joining activities where you can meet people who have the same interests as you. I’m sure you will meet people who like you this way. If this is not feasible because of where you live, I suggest changing this. I think, relationships are a key to a happy life for most people. Last but not least I suggest talking about your hobbies for those who ask and never stop trying, Who knows where this will lead you.
I wish ypu the best :).
NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Well I will chat about weather and climate with anyone
Jimbo@yiffit.net 2 years ago
That would just devolve into me going "and thank you for my presentation on how we are FUUUUUUCKED
can@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Me neither but finding a hobby helps
PhatInferno@midwest.social 2 years ago
Agreed, my houseplants (one of my hobbies) helps me mentaly, id feel so much worse if i let them down (vs myslef) and i get that much more joy when they are happy with my care (new flower/leaf/etc)
Matriks404@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Are you me?
alyth@lemmy.world 2 years ago
my long lost cousin :')