How much is shipping and handling?? That’s where you long egg tube people get ya.
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wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 month agoHave you ever wanted to kick back and relax, but you hate the after-wank munchies? Introducing the long egg tube! Just jam some eggs and your dick all up in there and give yourself a creampie that can quench that snack craving in one easy step! Call now and we will send you a second tube absolutely free; great for enjoying a romantic night in! But wait, there’s more! Call in the next 60 seconds and we will add a butthole stretcher xl absolutely free! That’s two tubes and a butthole stretcher for just 4 easy payments of 19.95!
Syd@lemm.ee 1 month ago
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 1 month ago
We have a variety of shipping options for any budget! Most customers choose the 10 day express with tracking and discretion option for 34.99, but we also offer overnight from our warehouse in [redacted] that comes with a complementary body pillow waifu and fold-out stand for display. For those on a tight budget, our 18 to 24 week option without tracking that will show up at your residence at the worst possible time and doesn’t include exterior re-packaging so your neighbors know what your package is and will forever judge you, is free with any 399+ order. Resellers welcome with agreement, inquire online.
At GushingLongEgg Enterprises Ltd, we are always working hard to make our customers happy and satisfied, just like they will be upon receiving their product. Almost as hard as you.
(opened merchandise is not refundable, customer pays return shipping with approved rma, for terms and conditions visit GushingLongEgg.net/terms)
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 month ago
You had me at jamming eggs up my dick. Take my money!
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
You’re supposed to blow on it to force the yolk out, eat that first, then fuck the albumen, and consume that afterwards. At least that’s how it was taught to me.
The butthole stretcher is just like a free space in bingo.