I live in the United States. This is true of urban dog parks I’ve lived near in the East Coast, the West Coast, Texas, and the Midwest. I didn’t have a dog when I lived in rural or small town America, so I don’t have direct experience with that, but my impression of stranger openness in rural areas wasn’t that different.
For communal spaces, striking up conversations with people near you is also pretty natural. Sitting next to someone at a bar or counter, especially in hotels and airports, is an easy way to talk to someone to pass a little bit of time, and then just disappear back into anonymity whenever you feel like it. The training wheels version is talking to your bartender, and then leaving to talking to other people who are talking to the bartender.
At this point I also have kids, so anywhere there are other parents is also an easy way to talk to strangers. Parks and playgrounds. School and extracurriculars and summer camps and stuff like that have plenty of opportunities to run into semi regular faces that become familiar.
I also know several of my neighbors’ names (and basically all of their dogs’ names). When I lived in apartment buildings I tended to get to know a few other people who lived in the building, who I’d regularly see in the elevators or lobby or mail room or common areas/amenities.
Probably the most important skill is being able to say something as part of a fleeting moment. Even using the description of “approaching strangers” sounds far more intentional than what I’m talking about, rather than just saying something to someone who is already physically close enough to hear.
And no, nowhere I’ve lived or regularly worked in the US (around 10 cities and 7 states) would it be considered rude to say to a stranger “ooh, I like your shirt.” People like to be complimented, especially on their choices. Same with “can I say hi to your dog?” or “hey where did you buy that coffee, is it anywhere near here?” It’s easiest when not every interaction is expected to escalate, and fostering a particular openness is how extroverts meet others, and occasionally step up to the next level (turning a one-off question to a stop-and-chat, having a good enough small talk that you exchange contact information, grabbing a meal or drink together, doing another activity together, etc.). I get that it’s harder for people who don’t already do all these things to start, but I’m asking people to look for small ways to start, if that’s what they actually want in life.
korazail@eviltoast.org 14 hours ago
I fear for my kiddos because of this.
It’s now feeling offensive to approach people in public for any reason. As a full grown adult who is married, I feel awkward approaching someone at like a library reading a book I’ve read - they don’t want the interruption, they aren’t here to meet people; I get that. I’m just wanting to share my experiences and maybe make a friend.
Trying to find a partner is way harder.
I go out of my way to be gregarious in public spaces because I don’t want the normal to be people trapped in their bubbles and never interacting with the rest of the world. I’ve found that people sometimes light up when they are talked to, and that keeps me doing it.
I’m an introvert and it’s hard. You can do it too! Make small talk.