HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
I was taught that for any form of disability, “put the person first,” never “a mentally disabled person,” always “a person with a mental disability,” making the condition a descriptor rather than the core identity.
I’m not sure that would have helped you but feel like it’s good advice generally
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
As an autistic person, no, many of us prefer to be called autistic people rather than people with autism. Person with autism makes it sound like an accessory that can be removed from the person. Many autistic people consider autism an intrinsic part of who we are.
You don’t call gay people “people with homosexuality” or black people “people with blackness”
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
I appreciate you sharing that. I’d never heard of this exactly, but it fits my experiences with the autistic community.
Being a little pedantic, I don’t think gay or black are disabilities, but, on the other hand, why wouldn’t my reasoning apply to any descriptor? “Nobody’s whole identity should be boiled down to a single trait, so wouldn’t the same logic apply?”
This is just something I was taught as part of the secondary education program in university and was culturally popular at the time. There’s no semantic algorithm we can follow that will instantly make us sensitive and kind. In fact, I’m pretty sure virtually every tactic would offend someone somewhere.
The hard work of it all is listening to people and caring about their feelings. So I hear you autistic brother and will try to bear this in mind. I just thought the person first mindset was a good one generally.
creamfresh@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I guess many autists wouldn’t even feel adressed by OP because they don’t see autism as a disability.
rethnor@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
I heard about that from the unmaking autism book. I think the person d applies more your two things that aren’t party of who you are like autistic vs being in the foster care system. Since both my sons came to us through the system it was a easy example for them. They understood the difference between a foster child and a child in foster care.