Comment on mindset

• did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  1. the experiences of boys and girls in society aren’t comparable.

  2. this post is about girls, going “but what about the boys?” on it is just misogyny.

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s not misogyny. Maybe the experiences of boys and girls aren’t comparable, but somethings transcend gender, and getting ridiculed is one of them.

    This post unnecessarily genders something that isn’t gendered, so it makes total sense that someone would point out that it’s not restricted to one gender.

    Guys are used to having their experiences invalidated when it comes to this kind of stuff. “Oh, be a man. Don’t be so sensitive. No one cares about your feelings. Man up, be stronger, stop being weak and then people won’t make fun of you,” the list goes on.

    And then there’s the aspect where bringing up issues that impact men always gets hit with “BUT WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?!? MEN HAVE IT SO GOOD, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT?!?”

    So when a post directly implies that “girls get ridiculed, to the exclusion of boys,” it makes sense to clarify that “boys get ridiculed too.”

    Also, it’s mostly women and girls who judge other women and girls, so trying to make that about misogyny is kind of a stretch. Men and boys get judged by men, women, boys, girls, and everyone else.

    Not to mention when a woman or a girl gets made fun of, like thirty people have her back, but when a guy gets made fun of, no one cares.

    Just overall, making this a gendered issue from the start was the wrong call, and the people responding by saying this affects other genders too aren’t the ones unnecessarily gendering the issue.

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  • blackbeans@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I understand the feedback because there’s no need to distinguish between gender when you are talking about something as generic as personal empowerment. The post is not about girls, it’s about human psychology.

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    • TaterTot@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I’d disagree with this. Personal empowerment is universal and applies to everyone, sure. But its nature is personal, and shaped by a multitude of factors including (but not limited to) gender. That’s basically the idea behind intersectionality.

      Along the various lines that make up someone’s circumstances, groups can share collective barriers to their empowerment. In this case, women (and men) face specific, gender-based obstacles. So when you generalize a conversation about one group’s particular issues, at best you derail something that would’ve been helpful. At worst, you end up with an “All Lives Matter” bumper sticker.

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  • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’re fucking right. Experiences of men and women in society are absolutely not comparable when we’re talking about societal expectations.

    You’re also right that women don’t have to center every conversation around men.

    I can’t believe someone told you directly this isn’t a female safe space hahaha

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• velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Boys already do what they want hahaha

  The phrase “boys will be boys” is a thing that exists ffs

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