Comment on Well damn. Glad he's dead.

• pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I said think gold digging brings misoginy by consequence, I never said I think it justifies it.
  Don’t put words in my mouth just to cry for a cause there is no need to fight here.

  And as a side, I always found the phrase “don’t hate the player, hate the game” as dumb as the culture who coined it: who the hell is playing the game? The spectators? Of course you hate the players, they’re the only reason the game is being played!

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  • Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You literally called it a valid argument, don’t know how else to interpret that.

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    • pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      don’t know how else to interpret that.

      It involves assuming the point of view of a misoginist who feels entitled to be misoginistic. I know it’s not a position you didn’t think you’d end up when you woke up this morning, but trying to understand what’s going on in other people’s head is a first step towards fighting intolerance.

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      • fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        “women should behave a certain way to not justify misogyny” comes off about as well as “black people should behave a certain way to not justify racism”, imo

        i appreciate your intentions, but this is not the way

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    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Would you consider it misogyny if someone mentions gold diggers in a conversation about dating? Or if they talk about gold diggers in any context at all? Or if someone even acknowledges that gold diggers exist?

      Because a lot of people would consider that misogyny.

      But an instagram model openly being a gold digger lends credence to the argument that “some women are gold diggers.”

      So if you consider it misogyny to acknowledge that some women are gold diggers, then a woman being a gold digger is, by your very definitions, creating a pretext to justify misogyny.

      (Funny how women can generalize about men, but when men generalize about women it’s suddenly a problem; or even if they don’t generalize but cite specific examples, people will still make a strawman argument about them generalizing so even that’s bad).

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• MehBlah@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

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• sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I read their comment in a way ‘that stands in the way of eradicating misogyny’ not in a way ‘it makes misogyny allowed’

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  • pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Thank you, you reasonable person

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    • JigglySackles@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You’re in the right here. Some people just lack reading comprehension.

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  • cobalt32@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Yeah that’s how I interpreted it too. However, even with that interpretation, it feels like they’re blaming the victim for their own subjugation.

    It’s akin to saying that black people stealing from Walmart gets in the way of eradicating racism, without addressing the reason why they have to steal in the first place. If they had money for groceries, they wouldn’t be stealing. Likewise, if that young woman had enough money to live a comfortable life, I highly doubt she would have spent two years of her life married to that crusty old man. Subjugated people do what they have to do to survive.

    We all word things the wrong way sometimes, and that’s okay. Everyone deserves a chance to clarify what they meant. In this case, however, it seems that pH3ra has only continued to double down on their original statement.

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Ah, but you’re forgetting that this is the age of the internet, when discussing potential solutions to a problem (or root causes of that problem so that real solutions can be found) is basically equivalent to providing justification for that problem.

    We’re just supposed to paper over everything to make it presentable to an audience, even if beneath the surface everything is still a wreck. Superficial, temporary solutions are preferable to lasting solutions that address the problems at their roots.

    Something about toxic positivity, and confusing descriptivism with prescriptivism.

    “Does” ≠ “Should” (strawmen hate this one little trick!)

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