Comment on why is it never the 'close friend' who gets shit on?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks agoIf my partner is willing to cheat they are the one hurting me. If it’s not with my friend it’d be with someone else eventually but i guess it depends on how they handle it. If my friend tells me immediately then I’m not going to care because that allows me to not waste any more time with the cheater. They’re doing me a favor by exposing them as the trash they are sooner rather than later. Might as well get laid for their trouble. If they go behind my back for weeks thus causing me to waste time and energy on a cheater then I’d be pissed.
electric_nan@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
I don’t understand this at all. If my partner cheats with a stranger, then sure-- all the blame is on my partner. The stranger doesn’t know me. But a friend? They are betraying the relationship between us just as my partner is. My expectations for a friend would be more along the lines of “hey man, you really ought to know that your partner tried to fuck me”, rather than “btw bro, I got it off with your partner” (high-five??).
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
As far as I’m concerned the relationship is over the instant my partner decides to cheat on me. Whether they get rejected or not. My friend telling me about it has the same end result either way. So I don’t really consider it a betrayal assuming they do tell me. The cheater was going to cheat sooner or later anyway might as well get it over with.
ChexMax@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Even if she’s immediately an ex due to her behavior, I think a lot of people would rather their close friends not sleep with an ex. It’s like, if you two fall in love after we’re over, you can’t stop love, but if you’re just getting your rocks off, there are plenty of fish
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I guess it’s just an each to their own thing. Once someone cheats on me I’m done with them. I don’t care what they do. None of my friends are stupid enough to get into an actual relationship with a known cheater but even if they did it’s not like it’d be the first time I had to ignore a SO someone was bringing around that I didn’t like.
electric_nan@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
I don’t understand how you consider one action a betrayal of trust and not the other. Is your friendship also not over the instant your friend decides to sleep with your partner? I guess you have different kinds of friendships than I do.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
None of my friends would try and initiate something like that. However if my friend tries to fuck my SO and my SO rejects them then I’m going to have a problem with my friend harassing my SO. If my SO goes along with it and cheats on me then my friend has revealed their my SO’s colors and that relationship wasn’t worth shit in the first place, they’ve done me a favor. No sense in also tanking a friendship over it.