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TabbsTheBat@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

You need to capitalize your I’s to start. Also I think your punctuation could be better, it’s for the most part commas and periods, which looks quite flat for creative writing. I’'d say try out using more dashes, semicolons, and other punctuation marks to “spice it up”

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Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
yeah, also I’ve seen this font before. and I really only respect writing that’s printed out. so. maybe do that to. but not on white paper. we’ve all been there. on green paper with dark green print. it’s a BOLD choice.

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- Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Snowclone is right. Don’t fuck with format just for the sake of fucking with format. Its pretentious and douchey.
  
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  - Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    to be clear, I was mostly just trying to have criticism that was outside writing choices that would hopefully sound dumb.
    
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tate@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

ts eliot did alright

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adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

ee cummings?

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tate@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

indeed. don’t know where my mind was…

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adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

                                     r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r
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                       PPEGORHRASS
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               eA
                    !p:
S                                                                        a
                                      (r
  rIvInG                              .gRrEaPsPhOs)
                                                                         to
  rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly
  ,grasshopper;

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