Yeah, that’s the problem. Once I married a woman I had known for six months, because that whole time she was crazy about me. I was the center of her world. It felt great - I wasn’t used to getting a lot of attention from women, and here was one literally begging me to marry her. I went for it. But for whatever reason (maybe God thought it was funny) there are people out there who flip between over-the-top loving someone and over-the-top hating him, for no external reason. My ex-wife kept the crazy under control before we got engaged, but after that about a couple of times a week she would flip out. I ended up divorcing her after six months of marriage - the last straw was when on my birthday she flipped out because I wanted to celebrate with my family and not just with her. Normal social interactions don’t prepare you to deal with a person like that.
Comment on Anon needs a good response
jodanlime@midwest.social 1 month ago
Maybe I’m ignorant, but love bombing sounds pretty nice.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
glimse@lemmy.world 1 month ago
My friend’s going through something similar now and not saying something earlier is one of my biggest regrets.
We were both single when they started dating and I didn’t want to seem jealous by pointing it out. Now they’ve got two kids and are getting divorced because she found someone new to lovebomb.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I consider myself very, very lucky that my ex-wife and I did not have any children.
reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
I think it’s only called that when it’s being used to manipulate you, paradigm case being an abuser who swears they didn’t mean to they love you so much they weren’t thinking straight please say you love me
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
Love-bombing a love-bomber can get epic, but then there’s the fallout when the one drops the act and is terrified by the possibilities that: you weren’t acting, you were just matching their energy and can meet them down in the trenches before they can actually drag you down, and/or you knew what they were up to and refuse to be made to have a problem with it(see “weren’t acting”).
Now you’re stuck with a bait-and-switcher who cannot grasp that you might not be pulling the same trick they just failed to land.
If this sounds like a lot of drama and a massive pain, it is, and that’s why its not recommended over disengaging once you’ve realized what’s happening.
yakko@feddit.uk 1 month ago
Sometimes I wish I could take psychopathy for a test drive, just to see what it’s like to be emotionally invulnerable for a day. This is the kind of thing I’d want to do.
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
Psychopathy? Autism? BPD?
I stay medicated and too busy doing right by my family to dwell on it, but I have enough emotional depth that I sometimes wonder if I didn’t just decide to try to think and act like an unhinged psychopath one day(WAY before I met my wife…) in the hopes of avoiding abuse & despair. I’ll tell you this much: Whatever the case, that last part definitely didn’t work-out.
yakko@feddit.uk 1 month ago
I know enough about psychopathy specifically to know it would be interesting to try for a few hours, but longer than that it might ruin my life. My sense of empathy often gives me grief, but it serves a purpose.
dephyre@lemmy.world 1 month ago
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