They call dogs mans best friend, but we ignore the humble potato. Have they been with us as long as canines? No. That’s why they’re putting in so much effort to fufill our every need.

One day you’re going to wake up and realize you love your potatoes. That they love you. The entire time, you’ll know what you need to do. It will hurt, as it always does, as you boil and mash this tuber that was once your closest companion, but in return, they will give you a full days nourishment and only ask for a little more butter this time.