Comment on Soft

• DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I think I spent most of my non-school times at home lol.

  I was born in 2002

  When I was in China, we mostly just stayed locked at home because parents are at work all the time (beside going to school)

  When we move to the US, I was put in afterschool programs when I suffered what amounted to psychological torture (I mean I was basically in a foreign country and didn’t even get time to “recharge my social battery”), and I never had the eslf esteem to really make friends with English-only kids for those the first few years of my life here.

  So that inertia just stayed… I just got used to not “going outaide” it just been how my life is…

  I mean sometimes I did outside… but I’ve almost always been acompanies by parents

  Not surprisintly never had much real friends, never made any deeper connections beyong just talking in school…

  Immigrant parenra really just either have no time or is terrified of CPS…

  So yea I have fear of the outside world basically…

  source

  • anomnom@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    A lot depends on where outside was too.

    I grew up partly in a city/burb then we moved to the woods.

    I actually played outside in the burbs because it had ode walls to ride bikes on and more kids near by. But playing out in the woods was more time outside, except in hunting city and after dark.

    source

    • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yea maternal grandma is just like “this is just how it is these days, if you let your kids go outside, they’ll get kidnapped” (talking about China)

      source
• applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  There are different kinds of neglect besides not being physically colocated. Ignoring your childs needs for example. Some parents may spend nearly all of their time around their children, but never do anything to address their emotional needs, or even actively suppress them. As a child I was often punished or denigrated for having and expressing strong emotions that were inconvenient for my parents, to the point I felt like they didn’t want me to have emotions at all. Some parents neglect their children’s sensory needs, sanitary needs, hunger, thirst, need for sleep, need for solitude, need for play, need for socialization, need for autonomy, need for learning, need for structure, or whatever else. I would argue helicopter parents usually neglect a number of their child’s emotional needs and treat their children more like a doll or pet than a whole person they are responsible for raising into an adult.

  source

  • elephantium@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    besides not being physically colocated

    This isn’t neglect IMO. Kids should have at least some time separate from their parents (tbf, this means different things at different stages of childhood).

    The rest of your post, OTOH, is spot on.

    source

    • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You were implying that some people these days think lack of helicopter parenting is neglect. I wasn’t saying it is, I was in fact refuting that position. It would whoever be considered neglect if someone was never around their kids. You know what they say, the dose makes the poison.

      source

      • elephantium@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Ahh, gotcha, yeah, I misread you there. Sorry about that.

        source