Comment on Find what you like and stick with it

• wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Any tips? You’re freaking me out with regards to my little dude.

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  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Finding nutritious safe foods is vital. People super into weights often eat a pre portioned amount of rice and chicken and all the spinach they want, and my autistic wife enjoyed doing that when she did it. Texture is huge but so is familiarity. For western autistic people safe foods tend to be heavily processed “kid foods”, make sure your kid’s idea of comfort foods isn’t that.

    Also encourage him to be brave and try new things with the safety of it not being commitment to the food, and as he’s older talk to him about what he likes and doesn’t about things and check in before trying something new when he’s old enough to. My wife has days where she has the mental energy to try something new, and days where she doesn’t. Additionally if I can describe what it’s like it takes less energy for her to try. And don’t pull the “it’s just like chicken” thing, go more “these fried mushrooms are tender and slimy with a strong umami taste, kind of like soy sauce but not as salty or fermented tasting”

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    • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Thank you! Good highlight on “without commitment”.

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      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah it’s vital that agreeing to try something new doesn’t feel unsafe. If the kid doesn’t like it a parent can eat it, it’s fine. And that’s not just for autistic kids, but it is especially for them. Adventurous behavior, especially in children, is associated with it feeling safe to push outside one’s comfort zone. That can mean trying kimchi or it can mean trying the monkey bars. Encouraging adventurous behavior is also good. You want the kid to be comfortable leaving their comfort zone and entering the growth zone. Food is just one element of it.

        I’ve had to help autistic adults learn that they can just try new things, fail, and be ok whether it’s setting up a doctor’s appointment, new foods, or new skills. Many people, but especially common in people diagnosed with autism as children, are raised where if something doesn’t go right the first time they’re scolded or punished or fussed over or whatever else discouraging behavior and it results in people who struggle to leave their comfort zones, which is crippling as an adult.

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  • plm00@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I have a daughter on the spectrum. It took many hours each week and many weeks in a year of ABA (RBT, hopefully getting my acronyms right) therapy to get her to accept a variety of foods. Fast forward to a few years later, she’ll eat anything including spicy food (by her own choice). It was definitely a texture thing, as well as her wanting a constant she could reliably predict. As part of her therapy we always included something she liked alongside the things she didn’t. We were firm she had to try everything every time, even if she couldn’t finish.

    You got this!

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    • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Thank you so much for your tips and encouragement.

      Since I had to look it up, here it is for others’ benefit:

      • ABA
      • RBT

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  • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Don’t take no for an answer. What’s for dinner is what you get or you can go to bed hungry. My mom just didn’t put up with my bullshit and let me not eat my food if I didn’t want it but absolutely refused to let me have anything else until dinner was eaten. If I ate my dinner I could have whatever I wanted (in the house, which was pretty much all healthy food).

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    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      My mom used this strategy. The problem was there was and still are a lot of foods I just straight don’t like. Not “I’d just rather have spaghetti-os” but, “I cannot stomach this because of the taste or texture or whatever”. She also was not a very good cook so even if it was something I liked usually I sometimes wouldn’t like it. This led to a lot of nights of us sitting at the table with me getting yelled at and not allowed to leave the table until my plate was cleared .

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    • wabasso@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I’m willing to try this if I can introduce it gradually.

      I’ve heard talk of this causing “disordered eating” but haven’t done the reading myself on that. Do you think it caused any negative outcomes for yourself?

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      • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I have a reduced appetite as an adult because of medical conditions, so it’s difficult to tell because I have a hard time eating anyway. I don’t have any food aversions and if I’m hungry will eat most anything. But like the other reply to my comment said, it resulted in a lot of unpleasant dinners. I was on a behavioral diet most of my childhood as well so that had a factor in it all too. I think having a standard, boring “second choice” might be a good idea, but also definitely just communicate about what they like and don’t like, children are capable of reason just not always encouraged into the ability.

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