Tell your friend to just be who they are and not worry what people think and those left hanging around are the people who love them and not the person they try to be. Which is way more fulfilling and less exhausting than trying to be the person others want them to be.
Comment on Eep
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Is this a sign of autism, or just normal people stuff? My friend wants to know.
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
blackbrook@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
FWIW masking is also associated with ADHD.
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
Mostly normal. There is some good research and theory about the topic out there. They refer to the trait as ‘self-monitoring’ and rank people as high or low in the trait. High self-monitors are “alert to social cues that suggest what they should do, and they are ready, willing, and able to tailor their behavior to fit in… low self-monitors are both less attentive to social norms and less flexible.”
High self monitors are activity specialists, who have friends for specific things, like a “ballet friend” or “tennis buddy,” and they avoid disputable topics.
There are a few trends that can be seen, with the high self-monitors having higher intimacy in relationships to start, but the relationships are less committed and shorter.
Some papers to look at: Nezlek & Leary, 2002; Fuglestad & Snyder, 2009; Leone & Hawkins, 2006; Snyder & Simpson, 1984; Wright et al., 2007). Quotes from Miller, 2012
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Everyone wears different masks around different groups of people. Autism can amplify social problems, but everyone to some degree has experienced the image in the OP.
Trying to ascribe specific behaviors to autism might not be healthy, especially absent a formal diagnosis or a reason to think knowing whether it’s autism could help you deal with it in some way.
I feel sometimes like people treat autism as a pseudo-horoscope where just about anything can signify it. In reality, adult diagnosis of autism is very difficult for even professionals. Not only do autism symptoms tend to present less strongly in adulthood, but in addition to screening you, the neuropsychologist – as it’s a pervasive developmental disorder –will often ask to speak to someone like a family member who knew you when you were young. If it didn’t present in childhood, it’s definitionally not autism. Symptoms can get really fuzzy in adulthood in no small part because 18 years is a long time to learn how to act more neurotypical.
That’s not saying “ignore it and move on”. Introspecting like this can sometimes reveal broad behavioral patterns you didn’t notice or thought nothing of. Just keep in mind that autism is generally more complicated than something you can poll and ask “is this an autism?”
db2@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Speak for yourself, that sounds like way too much effort for minimal payout, especially considering how many of them are transitory.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Guess you won’t be getting the Fierce Deity Mask then.