Comment on Your name better be Caleb
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 days agoI also encourage all men, but especially those who aren’t particularly well-endowed, to perfect your oral sex game.
You’ll never be able to compete with the size they’ve seen in porn, but porn mostly skips over cunnilingus, so if you can do that well, you can give her something those porn stars can’t.
From my experience, authentic enthusiasm is the key. Women are always worried about what’s going on down there, so when a man dives in with enthusiasm and vigor, they realize they can just relax and enjoy the ride. After that, she’ll be putty in your hands, boys.
I totally agree. Plus, I’ve seen porn stars do cunnilingus, which was clearly something they have zero knowledge of on how to do it, or even find the clitoris.
Never use porn as a tutorial, it’s not how you should do it. The focus in porn is camera angles, not pleasuring your partner.
Instead, there are tutorials with very helpful tips. Like Nina Hartley, she has very nice instruction videos.
Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
How do you practice getting better? My girl tells me she likes what I do, but I know I’m just fumbling around since we’re both inexperienced and I’m pretty sure she’s both being nice and embarrassed to talk about how I could improve. Anytime I’ve asked she just says I’m doing perfect which my porn addicted ass knows ain’t true.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 days ago
Don’t go directly to the target (clit) immediately. Sneak up on it with light kisses and licks, on her tummy, inner thighs, etc., always getting closer. TAKE YOUR TIME. However slow you are going, go even slower, stretch it out, make the anticipation agonizing. Explore everything else before you finally nail the target.
Develop a few different techniques to apply to her clit, licking, sucking, pressure, soft, hard, slow, fast, responding to her reactions. Quick licks, followed by a few seconds of sucking, then a release, and more licking, is highly effective. Encourage her to tell you what’s working for her.
Use your fingers, but they are mostly supporting players. Learn how to find the G-spot, and concentrate your digital efforts there, while your tongue cycles through your clitty repertoire.
You may find that she’s holding back, waiting for the main event to come, but encourage her to come before you move on to anything anything else. In fact, don’t even let her do ANYTHING to you until you’ve made her come with your mouth. As she gets into it, she may stiffen up, and get quiet, but that’s great, she’s just concentrating on getting there. DON’T change anything, just keep doing what you’re doing, and she will explode.
After that, it’s your turn, and YOU will be richly rewarded.
kcuf@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Look at this differently: your goal isn’t to give good head, it’s to make your partner feel good. The Caleb’s of the world aren’t just “fucking perfectly”, they’re providing their partner with what makes them feel best. Your most important skill in this regard is to listen. You need to hear and feel what your partner is telling you, and adapt. At the end of the day all you’re doing is applying pressure, moisture/warmth, basic movements (there’s nothing too crazy you can do), and enthusiasm. You have to sooth and excite them mentally as much as physically, and these are the physical levers you have to play with.
If your partner is telling you that what you’re doing is great, then you’re hitting the physical areas fine most likely. You need to make sure you’re doing everything else too: they need to build to climax through appropriate foreplay (which could mean anything) and carried through that.
Understand what your partner wants, and you will be a god
HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com 1 day ago
There’s a book for that newbookrecommendation.com/she-comes-first-a-compr…
jali67@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
It’ll come with time, just make sure you’re selfless about it, communicate and keep practicing.