Comment on Anon thinks everyone should grow up

• 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Nah, that’s just greedy to expect 100% childish time and no return.

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  • Best_Jeanist@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Imho it’s perfectly valid to have your goal to be a lifestyle sub 24/7, but you do have to accept the fact that most partners who are willing to lifestyle dom with no breaks are abusers, so you have a very high chance of being unhappy. Good doms who don’t ever need a break are as rare as unicorns, so you’d better have plenty to offer them.

    Then again, a lot of people looking for this kind of relationship on some psychological level want to be abused. It’s a learned helplessness thing. Some people have lost so much of their ability to trust others, they need a partner who acts abusively (or pretends to) so they can let go of that feeling of paranoia that it’s going to get worse. So they can stop looking over their shoulder and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s not rational, but that’s the kind of person you create when you abuse children. They grow up into adults who don’t know what to do with themselves in a healthy relationship.

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    • IronBird@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      damn, this kinda sounds like me… always avoided relationships entirely because never saw a happy/successful one growing up. always been kind of paranoid…shit finally going my way/confident in the future and it just feels…wrong

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      • Best_Jeanist@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        You’ll probably learn a lot from looking up attachment theory

        en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

        www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html

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    • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Choice liberalism without the personality infrastructure… yeah, no.

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