I remember a summer about 10 years ago, when I went out at the beginning of summer to buy some new pool noodles. I looked everywhere, and couldn’t find them, all summer.

The next year, they were back, but they all had new tags that said “Not to be inserted rectally.”

Suddenly, I knew why they hadn’t been available, as lawsuits and regulatory issues got worked out. All because someone looked at a pool noodle, and got a weird idea.