Idk man Aunt was a boomer…“martyr complex” is a pretty common trope among that group.
Comment on Feeding my family alone is expensive. I can't afford to feed all of y'all.
npcknapsack@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Food is expensive, but my first thought is that one aunt cooking for twenty people on their own is a shitty model regardless of cost. You were asking your aunt to run a restaurant for an evening. Your aunt probably got too old to do that much work, and the next generation decided that was a bullshit thing to force on a single person.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
idk about you but my grandma would rather die than go sit on the couch and let someone else cook lol
ofc we help but she HAS to be there calling the shots
GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
If it’s a forced thing I agree, but for some of us this is our time to shine. Cooking has been a hobby of mine since I was helping my own aunt with holiday meals as a kid, and I absolutely love making a big meal for a large group. I ended up doing the majority of the cooking for my ex husband’s family holiday celebrations, because I genuinely enjoyed it and liked giving everyone else the time to just be and enjoy the day.
All I’m trying to say is that, for some people, cooking a feast for their loved ones is one of the ways we show love. It’s a tradition that tends to exploit women, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing is trash. We should just be more mindful of how we navigate this holiday. I bet a lot of boys would fall in love with cooking like I did if they were included in the preparations like women are.
Zink@programming.dev 2 days ago
Thank you, GiantChickDicks, for making this Thanksgiving even more wholesome.
And I completely agree. I could see myself as that person getting immense fulfillment from creating a feast for my loved ones. I love cooking even for myself. Unfortunately(/s) I have long held the position of the fun dad and uncle, and that is where my fulfillment lies. I’m the one that keeps all the kids in the other room playing games so they leave the other adults alone.
But when my mom calls down that it’s time for certain kids to help with certain dishes, they go running out of the room to help!
npcknapsack@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Sorry, I wasn’t really trying to say that no one likes doing it, or that those who want to shouldn’t. There are plenty of home chefs, and those of you who love it should absolutely do it to your heart’s content! For those whom it’s about the money, asking people to bring ingredients might work?
But I guess I was reading entitlement into the original statement, a sense of “my aunt used to do it all by herself and now the rest of us are expected to help ugh.”
GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
No sorries required, and you brought up a good point. I actually snapped off at my family when I was younger, because we had an issue during Thanksgiving one year and everyone expected my aunt and I to just quietly take care of it. We had worked our asses off all day to give the entire extended family a nice meal, and they sat around like spectators when something broke afterwards and made a mess. That was the straw that broke my back, because I felt like all the care and effort Auntie and I put in to make the day special for everyone else wasn’t appreciated, or even acknowledged. You’re absolutely right in pointing out the expense and effort putting on a huge feast requires, and no one should be expected to shoulder that if they don’t want to or can’t for any reason.
BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 2 days ago
my gf told me the thing she most looks forward to after work is cooking meals for me
this is perfect because the thing i look most forward to after work is eating meals she cooked me
Guitarfun@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I agree with this. I love cooking and I’m a man. I do all of the cooking in my household. My fiancee never really learned how and I’d prefer to be the one who cooks anyway. I grew up in a very large family and I was the oldest so I learned a lot of things to help out like housekeeping and cooking. Boys really should learn how to cook. For me it’s a fun creative outlet. It’s one of my favorite things to do.