GiantChickDicks
@GiantChickDicks@lemmy.ml
- Comment on Be better 6 days ago:
You’re very welcome, and I’m glad it was helpful. I’ve heard such great things about EMDR! I hope it’s helpful for you. I was in therapy working my way up to it for a while, but my therapist never came back from maternity leave and wasn’t able to refer me. She was awesome, though, and I’m sure I’ll be able to pick back up where I left off.
Try to be kind to yourself. You’re clearly doing the work, so I hope you reap all the rewards.
- Comment on Be better 6 days ago:
Hi friend, fellow member of the ACE high score club here. I also find the simplification of these kinds of topics triggering. It’s hard to see people boil down the complexities of CPTSD and other childhood trauma-related conditions in ways that can feel cold or indifferent to the challenges that come from living with them.
The frustrating truth I’ve found is that both things can be true at the same time. We didn’t ask to be born into a situation that changed our developing brains so much, and we didn’t sign up to carry the consequences of the choices our caregivers made on both our bodies and our minds. It’s not our fault this happened, and it’s not fair that we should have to work so hard just to appear “normal” to others and be accepted by them.
Unfortunately, though, the naked truth underneath the pain is that, regardless of how fair it is or isn’t, it’s up to us to address the reality we find ourselves in. We have to do the hard work that got dropped on us if we want to live in a way that isn’t agony all the time. There are people available to help, but no one else can save us. It’s like managing any other diseases that randomly pop up and decide to ruin lives. No one asked for MS, either, but they still have to either address it or do nothing and suffer.
I completed a year long CBT course, and it was really hard at first. It focused on maladaptive behaviors that impact how you treat others. Much of it discussed anger or rage toward others and how to look at your emotions differently so you don’t harm your relationships. I’m very skilled at masking, and my FFFF response is fawning most of the time. Because of this, I got frustrated about thought these lessons didn’t apply to me. I already know how to contain my emotions and play nice with others, I thought, so what is this doing for me?
Over the months, I realized I was saying and doing all those damaging things not to the people around me, but to myself internally all the time. I was taking all my anger, resentment, pain, and feelings of inadequacy on myself. It hit me like a truck. I absolutely did need to learn that material, I just didn’t see where I needed to apply it.
I’m sorry for the long diatribe, but your comment really resonated with me. I could feel your suffering as I was reading. I just wanted to share so you feel supported and understood, and I hope you’re able to make progress and find some peace as you continue to navigate this. If you’d ever like to talk, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’ll be thinking of you.
- Comment on Any help , bros ? 2 weeks ago:
My apologies, I didn’t see that.
- Comment on Any help , bros ? 2 weeks ago:
The bar code identifies the specific type of product, not a n individual example within that type of product. It’s not a serial code.
I ran into this a lot when I worked for a pet food manufacturer. If there was an issue with a product, customers often assumed the UPC could identify when the product was made, where it was distributed, and even where it was purchased. It does not. Otherwise packaging would be incredibly inefficient to make because each bag of the same recipe and size would need its own unique UPC.
- Comment on Tell me 2 weeks ago:
😄
- Comment on Tell me 2 weeks ago:
You step on things with your asshole?!
- Comment on good to know what can kill you in each state 2 weeks ago:
To be fair, Beauty and the Beast was set in France.
Sorry for being a pedantic shit, because you made me giggle.
- Comment on good to know what can kill you in each state 2 weeks ago:
There has only been one fatal wolf attack in the US in recorded history. Any attacks by wolves are extremely rare, as most are quite way of people. I’d assume that’s why they aren’t included.
- Comment on good to know what can kill you in each state 2 weeks ago:
While it’s rarely life-threatening, whitetail deer do sometimes attack people. Once they’ve got you down they batter you with their front legs. It looks really funny, but it can be serious.
- Comment on Welcome to my shop 2 weeks ago:
A lemme smoosh those cheeks potion, please!
- Comment on Happier to use spices on tofu, beans, soy curls, and even sometimes the dreaded processed plant-based mock-meats (when they go on sale). 1 month ago:
- Comment on Dog food recalled in UK after reports of pets losing their sight 2 months ago:
The inclusion of buckwheat itself is not the problem. It’s an approved ingredient in pet food. They are speculating that the specific buckwheat they sourced was contaminated.
- Comment on Cool Japan 🌸 2 months ago:
I have, and I can see what you’re saying. But intelligent people who understand how the bills get paid figure out a balance.
- Comment on Cool Japan 🌸 2 months ago:
I’m curious why speaking the language is so important as to take these kinds of measures.
- Comment on Cool Japan 🌸 2 months ago:
So, in order to protect culture you can’t share it? Seems silly.
- Comment on Cool Japan 🌸 2 months ago:
Is it inconvenient? Yes. Is it really that difficult, especially today with smart phones, to provide basic service at a restaurant? Absolutely not.
I spent my early life in the service industry, and I’ve served people who spoke zero English more times than I can count. Even before translation apps and services were so common, it truly wasn’t difficult enough that I’d feel comfortable as a human denying them service. We all worked together to get through it, and they enjoyed their experience from what I could tell.
I’ve also been on the other end and visited restaurants where our server didn’t speak English. We had a great time every time. It truly isn’t the big deal you’re making it, so it feels like you’re looking for reasons to excuse what we can plainly see is racism.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Same! Especially forearms and chest… Yum!
If my guy prefers to keep things short for personal preference reasons of course I’d never ask him to grow it longer for me. I think it’s important for guys that don’t want to shave to know that there are lots of us out there that find body hair super sexy!
- Comment on Times are tough - but i look faboo 3 months ago:
I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. Simply not eating isn’t a healthy way to lose weight. Simply eating less quantity of food that already isn’t nutritionally dense in the first place can also lead to a variety of issues and deficiencies.
The weight gain associated with eating cheap, hyper processed foods is only the most visible consequence. Most obese people actually suffer from malnutrition. Eating isn’t as simple as calories in and out, so simply advising people to eat less is not only ignorant, but it can also be dangerous. Not to mention you sound like you’re not being very empathetic to the person you decided to argue with.
- Comment on Why is society at large okay with euthanasia for pets but not for humans? 6 months ago:
Most well cared for dogs and cats are euthanized when they are at the natural end of their lifespans and no longer have a good quality of life. Bodies grow old and die. It doesn’t matter how much money we invest in medical care, human or animal. At best it can buy a few more (often painful) months or years.
Euthanasia is most often chosen when life is no longer enjoyable for the patient. I think the moral question the OP is posing is why we offer this kind relief to companion animals and not have this option for ourselves.
- Comment on "bird watching" goes both ways 6 months ago:
Oh my gosh, this is so validating! A few different species of birds will flutter in front of the living room window when the feeders are empty to get my attention. They are smart little things!
- Comment on Horn posting 7 months ago:
I mean, no, but their forehead seems like the more ideal position for the instrument, right?
- Comment on Switch 2 demand appears to be flagging as Nintendo reportedly lowers production 7 months ago:
I was just gifted a Switch 2 for my birthday, and Bonanza was what I was most looking forward to playing. I’m enjoying it a lot, but so far I’m glad I didn’t spend the money myself.
- Comment on Waiting in Wild Flowers 7 months ago:
Blessed be the blooms.
- Comment on I'm there! 9 months ago:
Yes! Our local geology clubs offer field trips for members, including mineral and fossil digs!
- Comment on Wish I was her 10 months ago:
Or perhaps I know from firsthand experience.
- Comment on THIS is a real test of how old you are. If you score 20 your future is short 10 months ago:
40 here, scored a 19. I’m fascinated that you were able to avoid checkbooks all this time. Back in the day it was the only form of rent payment my landlords would accept, so I didn’t have much choice.
I’ve also had to use them in oddball situations recently, like paying a passport application fee. The passports weren’t even for me. I was just the only one in the friend group that still has checks from when I first opened my account… almost 20 years ago. They’re my age, so maybe it’s me who’s the outlier here, haha.
- Comment on Wish I was her 10 months ago:
I think, in this case, it’s that this woman was confident and assertive in ways that are usually acceptable for men, but that typically end with a woman being labeled a “removed”. At least that’s how I took it.
- Comment on Feeding my family alone is expensive. I can't afford to feed all of y'all. 11 months ago:
No sorries required, and you brought up a good point. I actually snapped off at my family when I was younger, because we had an issue during Thanksgiving one year and everyone expected my aunt and I to just quietly take care of it. We had worked our asses off all day to give the entire extended family a nice meal, and they sat around like spectators when something broke afterwards and made a mess. That was the straw that broke my back, because I felt like all the care and effort Auntie and I put in to make the day special for everyone else wasn’t appreciated, or even acknowledged. You’re absolutely right in pointing out the expense and effort putting on a huge feast requires, and no one should be expected to shoulder that if they don’t want to or can’t for any reason.
- Comment on Feeding my family alone is expensive. I can't afford to feed all of y'all. 11 months ago:
If it’s a forced thing I agree, but for some of us this is our time to shine. Cooking has been a hobby of mine since I was helping my own aunt with holiday meals as a kid, and I absolutely love making a big meal for a large group. I ended up doing the majority of the cooking for my ex husband’s family holiday celebrations, because I genuinely enjoyed it and liked giving everyone else the time to just be and enjoy the day.
All I’m trying to say is that, for some people, cooking a feast for their loved ones is one of the ways we show love. It’s a tradition that tends to exploit women, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing is trash. We should just be more mindful of how we navigate this holiday. I bet a lot of boys would fall in love with cooking like I did if they were included in the preparations like women are.
- Comment on Another one! Take a guess! This one is pretty easy. 11 months ago:
Alligator on a dictator
