Comment on Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway
brucethemoose@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
That’s community’s mods are super nice. Probably too nice TBH.
…But yeah. Follow community rules. Or post elsewhere. It is not that hard.
because that isn’t how a public internet site works.
if you go to the park and hold a women only event, and get upset men are in the park and wander over and are curious what is going on…
if you want a private exclusive type of space… then make it private and exclusive.
To correct your ‘public park’ analogy, the space is public. Men can wander in. But it has clear signs posted at the only entrance saying its a space for women to speak, please be quiet, otherwise.
If you wander in and violate that rule, that is no one’s fault but yours.
personally i have a dick but i don’t really identify as being a ‘man’. nor do identify as being a ‘woman’. i’m just a person. so am i therefore allowed to commentate? or is the mods who determine my sex/gender status, regardless of how i perceive myself?
…A primary reason for that rule is basically “don’t be a dick about this being a women’s only space, please.”
If you feel you qualify as a woman to speak in the space, go for it! That’s the idea. But you specifically say "nor do [I] identify as being a ‘woman’. "
But making an issue out of it is exactly what is unwanted.
just because i feel that way doesn’t mean the people in charge feel that way.
I’m not trying to grandstand. My issue is with these presumptions:
like if the mods want to auto-ban everyone who doesn’t personally verify with them their womanhood, that’s their business. but expecting people to self-police their gender is a dumb expectation.
They’re not checking you at the door. They aren’t auto banning anyone. They very politely point out the sidebar to a few posters, then request them to stay quiet; that’s the extent of it.
…If you don’t make an issue of that, it’s not an issue.
if you want a private exclusive type of space… then make it private and exclusive. that way you can control who views and interacts with the event and even hire security to keep the ‘wrong’ people out.
But this is unrealistic, as then they wouldn’t get nearly as much participation in the space. It’s a public gathering spot, by choice.
Again, my specific problem is with poster the mods point out the rules to, yet willingly choose to ignore them.
Just because you think rules are unrealistic does not give you a right to ignore them once asked. That’s how every community here works. Yet they seem to get tons of posters carrying that attitude.
That’s what makes me bristle. Respecting community rules (once known) is basic human civility, and people are perfectly capable of ‘self-policing’ that. I do not like the rejection of that, and the policing of others in its place.
The public park is owned by everyone, not just the women. You would be correct to be upset by men being excluded from this public space.
Comms are not public assets. Your use of any comm is entirely at the pleasure of the administrators of that comm, and their designated moderators.
Your opinion on the way they implement and enforce their rules is entirely irrelevant within their comm.
My suggestion would be to do what you would for any other comm whose behavior you do not support and/or whose rules you find reprehensible: block them and move on.
they should make their community private then. that way they can control who virtually walks in the door, so to speak.
as is, there is no door.
You are entitled to your opinion. They are entitled to theirs. I am entitled to my opinion: what they do with their space and who they allow into it is no concern of yours. Mind your own business, and leave them to mind theirs.
But we are allowed, and encouraged to read it, just not post. It is public.
Lets say you go to a public building and in that public building there is a room marked women only, lets say in that room are some toilets, would go in that room? Since it’s a public space in the same building as all the other public space, the only difference is that portion of the space is understood to be only for women, or those that identify as women.
You may stumble in accidentally, and you will be gently corrected, but if you keep stumbling in, it’s gonna start to seem weird.
Perhaps this is an exception, but I’ve disregarded that rule to use the building’s only baby changing table a bunch of times.
Yeah, that’s fine, a bit outside the metaphor as there is no analog.
a lot of places have rebranded those to ‘family restrooms’. which is great.
yeah i would. esp if the men’s room was locked.
gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I think it’s hard simply because browsing by /all, or even by communities you follow and then just in your main thread, is not set up to highlight the community or it’s rules. If something hits the front page of /all I’m rarely digging into the communities specific rules or even where it’s coming from to an extent. Only to say, it’s a learned behavior to care about the communities specifically in this site aggregator system.
All of that being said, people of course should respect community rules and learn the behavior of identifying what room they’re in before engaging with that community. I’m just not surprised when these flimsy barriers fail.
Is the best behavior to block any community you don’t or can’t participate in? I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution. Obviously my current strat is just reading the community before posting (like not commenting negatively about Star Gate getting a new season in the star gate community as an example that happened today lol).
brucethemoose@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Wandering in, missing the rule sign, apologizing when you’re corrected fine. I’ve done it; the mods there couldn’t have been nicer about it. It’s not ideal, but the system works well enough; it’s the mods shouldering that burden more than anything.
…The problem is when the guys are corrected and keep talking anyway. Which I see happen a lot.
There is no excuse for that.
I feel extremely mixed about this, yeah. I feel weird even talking about it.
The women’s space… doesn’t prohibit lurking? On one hand, the community is public, and I’m curious about the perspective in the discussions. I’m interested in understanding them so I can be more respectful person myself.
…But I don’t want to violate their privacy either. Blocking is reasonable.
Read the room, yeah.
IMO TV fandoms shouldn’t worship their material. Negative discussion is allowed, otherwise the space gets toxic.
In fact, this kinda happened to one of my personal fandom spaces, /r/thelastairbender: among other things, they idolize ATLA (the original series) like a diety, to the point where anything different (including other material like Korra or the Netflix adaption) is demonized. Deeper stuff like the novels, fanfics or speculative lora is not welcome either.
That sucks. It’s all to common; the Star Wars fandom (for instance) is notorious for it. And its why some negativity and ‘outsider perspectives’ should be welcomed in such spaces.
The women’s space is different though. It’s basically a shelter from the shit this group puts up with IRL and online, so being more sensitive to barging in makes sense.
gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
I completely agree. I just wish I could systematically prevent myself from making any mistake lol, or like anyone from making the first mistake.
Anyone doing it intentionally is a dick and should be blocked. This is just an interesting problem for the platform we’re on and I’m excited to see how the Internet develops overtime to fix this.
brucethemoose@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
…I guess we theoretically could, via a Lemmy or Piefed PR, heh.
As an example, we could implement an opt-in feature that pops-up community rules before one is allowed to post. Kinda like Discord, but less obnoxious.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
how do you measure someone else’s intention behind an internet post? other than your own arbitrary judgement of it?
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Bingo. This is the classic ‘read the sidebar’ site from reddit. most users aren’t reading hte sidebar because the side bar doesn’t exist for them when they click in front the front page.