Comment on Anon checks up on a childhood friend
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 14 hours agoI think a similar way to say this is to always be trying new things and do self care. If you like a decorated house, decorate, but if you don’t, do a different form of self care.
For me, it’s more like:
- go hiking - I don’t enjoy the journey, but i like the accomplishment of having done it
- lift weights - again, I’m not looking to be big or whatever, but weight lifting is easy to measure progress
- try new hobbies - not just video games, but drawing (completely failed), game dev (mlderate success), carpentry, juggling, uncycling, etc
- eliminate clutter that doesn’t bring happiness and keep only stuff I value - I don’t like decorations, but I do like certain items than have sentimental value
Make your own list, and make sure to include things that challenge and stretch you, because there’s no joy like accomplishing something hard.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Decorating your home is more than self care, it’s an extension of personal style that applies to when you hsve friends and potential partners in your home.
I think using the term self care will really backfire with someone like oop, as it has a connotation of giving yourself a break, when my intentions were more to say that if you want a family or people in your life you need to live a life that fosters such things.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
My definition of “self care” is taking time for yourself away from other obligations, like work, kids, etc. to do something that improves some aspect of yourself, like exercise, learning something new, preventative medical care, mental health, etc. It needs to have a specific goal and lead to some larger benefit than just enjoying yourself for an afternoon, otherwise it’s just “goofing off.”
For you, that seems to be decorating your home. You seem to value expressing yourself in that way to start conversations or just be around familiar surroundings. And that’s awesome!
I personally don’t find value in that, and having a spartan home is an expression of my personality as well. I may have a few things I find value in, but they’re usually utilitarian and not really decorations. I value my privacy, so the only people who know much about me are people I choose to share that with. I find value in minimalism, and having decorations and whatnot goes against that. So for me, self-care is eliminating stuff I don’t value, using the things I do, and pursuing longer term goals (exercise and whatnot).
Make sure that your form of self-care helps you achieve your goals. If that includes getting into a relationship, that self care should improve your chances to meet new people. Maybe that means updating your wardrobe, exercising and losing weight, of anything else that improves your self-image and confidence. Beyond that, you need to make time to actually meet new people. But maybe a relationship isn’t your goal, so your self care could look very different.
Self care should be part of your plan to reach your goals. If it’s not helping you reach your goals, it’s not self care and just a waste of time.