The irony is that there’s a chance it might be true.
Sex doesn’t necessarily mean very much. But, they’ve convinced themselves it’s massively important. Being a virgin defines them, and it’s proof that their life is a failure. If they can lose their virginity, they might be able to convince themselves that they’re now in a new category. If they can get away from the various toxic influences, maybe they can become more likeable people, and be less lonely as a result.
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 1 day ago
Indeed, which may actually be the source of their problems, or at least one of them.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Yeah when they fixate on sex it generally results in a bunch of behaviors and personality traits that make them unpleasant to be around and often make other people (particularly women) dislike or even fear the idea of sex with them.
I also honestly think a lot of it comes down to homophobia. I think there’s a lot of closeted or Kinsey 3+ bi men that are prevented from being happy with a male partner and even more commonly it keeps straight men from pursuing platonically fulfilling emotional intimacy from other men. I often deal with sexual transference behaviors put of male patients and it can be difficult to both find a male staff member to model appropriate nonsexual emotional intimacy to them and to get the patient to accept the healthier experience.
TLDR there’s a lot of things I would like to do to help solve the male loneliness epidemic because it’s a very real thing but I’m AFAB and NB at best and 90% of the work needs to be done by men helping other men, so I’m functionally helpless to do so.
timik_pipik@lemy.lol 1 day ago
In my experience (as in my classmates(, you couldn’t be more right.