This is the way of things.
I’m not saying it’s right, just, or how it should be, but in my experience, yes, this.
Comment on Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standard
rekabis@lemmy.ca 5 days agoI’ve had two relationships with women immediately go downhill after I cried in front of them. It was like someone flipped a switch and turned off any physical attraction they had to me.
Can absolutely confirm this, myself. Never let them see you vulnerable, unless you want to drive them away.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
I’m not saying it’s right, just, or how it should be,
What makes it infinitely more worse is that almost all women fully and absolutely deny this happens, even when behaving exactly like this.
It’s why such near-ubiquitous behaviour - and women’s hypocritical denial of its existence - is widely documented within both redpill and blackpill writings, and is one of the core reasonings behind MGTOW.
Such overwhelmingly predictable behaviours are what make those philosophies so devastatingly effective and compelling even before a person gets to anything even mildly misogynistic… facts and evidence that survive tests of disproof speak volumes, after all. These philosophies simply wouldn’t exist if behaviours and double standards like this didn’t exist.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
I’ll be honest, I can’t imagine not being able to cry in front of my partner. It sounds depressive.
rekabis@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It’s how “toxic masculinity” is forced upon men against their will.
Do we want to be sensitive and vulnerable? Sure!
Do we want partners that can accept that sensitivity and vulnerability? Of course!!
But when the vast majority of women do not do as they say, or say as they do, the calculus becomes massively brutal and clear-cut: either cram that shit down to where it will never see the light of day, or see it emotionally/sexually alienate our partner or even drive them away.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
TBH I think “toxic masculinity” is a shitty term for the concept. It feels like calling forced female gender roles “toxic femininity”.
JasSmith@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Yes! It’s intentionally used to invoke blame. Foremost by implying that some list of bad behaviours is only or primarily displayed by men, and secondly by implying that it is the fault of men (often read as all men) when they exhibit these behaviours. I would much rather we just call it toxic behaviour. Both sexes are capable of violence, jealousy, etc. “Toxic masculinity” merely ensures half of the people one is speaking to switch off and might even take the opposite side of the discussion because it’s really offensive.
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
It sounds depressing because it is.