Comment on How do you gently tell someone you only want to keep seeing them if it's on a dating level?

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

See, what you do is, step 1, buy a mansion. With a huge basement.

Step 2, install several cages in that basement. Full iron bar.

Step 3, hire ninjas to use sleeping darts on her to knock her out.

Step 4, imprison her naked in one of your many basement cells. Each of these cells has a human sized hampster wheel. She now has to run on this hampster wheel all day. Doing so produces electricity, which powers your house.

Step 5, repeat steps 3-4 until all the cells are filled with more naked slaves!

Step 6, install webcams and start a business called “WeRunOnHampsterWheels.com”. Create a new fetish based on bouncy boobs running on a hampster wheel, which you now have a temporary monopoly on, and a head start, and an unfair advantage in being able to create live content 24/7 for free.

Never once show your face in this house. Ever.

Step 7, after years of hampster wheel slavery, you “break into” the mansion, and find this woman you used to know who hasn’t been seen in like 15 years.

Step 8, tell her you COULD get the key hanging on the wall, and set her free…but you only want to see her in a dating sense.

She’ll be so thsnkful that she’ll agree to anything.

Checkmate!

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