Comment on want to be a woman
10001110101@lemm.ee 4 days agoFor me (also as a not-so-attractive male, IMO), it’s not the yearning for getting laid so much as the being in a loving relationship (masturbating is enough to calm my sex drive down). Thankfully, I’ve been in a very long-term relationship (~10 years). I remember it was literally driving me crazy being so emotionally isolated. I think a lot of people, woman and men, regardless of their sexual activity, have the same problems of isolation.
glorkon@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Well, for me it really is the overwhelming desire of being found physically attractive by someone. Anyone. So relationships or one night stands, doesn’t really matter.
It’s literally an insane thought to me that even average looking girls don’t have a hard time attracting members of the opposite sex. But for me, any time I approached a girl, I got hit hard by rejection and humiliation. And now that I’m older, most women are married or in long-term relationships anyway, so things have become even more impossible. It’s become so ridiculous that the mere thought of being found desirable is a sexual turn on for me so I find myself imagining to be the woman when watching porn, even though I’m not attracted to men at all.
Manticore@lemmy.nz 4 days ago
If it means anything, very very few people in this world feel truly attractive, women included. Body image, self-esteem, fashion, fat and muscle; almost every person on this earth is aspiring to standards they can’t reach and feeling distressed at what they perceive to be their failure.
You believe being a woman means being inherently desirable because you Young women definitely get attention, but its commonly threatening and not validating. It likely wouldn’t be fulfilling for you because it’s people who see you as a prop for their own experience. Your value isn’t part of that.
If what you want is to feel desirable, your odds are better if you’re attracted to women. In relationships, women more commonly value non-visible traits like communication, resilience, consideration, humour, and skill. Attraction is more holistic. I’ve known of at least two men getting married with almost no face at all (one taken off by a grizzly bear, the other obscured by large benign growths). Both had kids, too. In a healthy relationship, holistic desire grows.
You believe being a woman means being inherently desirable because you are presumably straight and desire women. You believe you must beautiful to get that because that’s what you most desire in women. Neither has to be true of you.
You are thirsty in the desert, and that’s awful. You fantasise about drowning in the lake because it looks like a solution to your problem, just as the downers desperately wish they could stand on the solid cracked earth.
davidagain@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I think this is really really perceptive. Thank you for taking the time to write it all.
10001110101@lemm.ee 4 days ago
Hmm, don’t have any experience with those exact feelings myself, but I suppose they’re valid. There isn’t some kind of “peak” physical attractiveness, at least in my mind. There’s tons of people all with tons of preferences. Like, I find most women attractive, regardless, or for, their unconventionally attractive attributes. I imagine many women are the same way.
Genius@lemmy.zip 4 days ago
If you want to imagine fuckinh women as a woman, watch gay porn.