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Comment on Why do people care so much that their friend or family member’s partner is attractive and not just loving?

Lots of people navigate the world being more open and honest about things the way they are, rather than beating around the bush about everything that could possibly be sensitive.

Being nervous and awkward and avoiding the elephant in the room can draw more attention and self consciousness to it then not.

Being nervous and repressed doesn’t make you the be all arbiter of how to navigate the world.

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Pandemanium@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Your personal judgements about others are not “an elephant in the room” that needs to be talked about. They are not objective facts. Ask yourself, when you think someone is unattractive, why is it so important to you that they know you think they are unattractive? What do you think you are accomplishing by bringing it up?

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- masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Let’s use the power of imagination, I can imagine a party where a group is having a conversation where everyone is talking about relative attractiveness and how privileged that’s made them in life, and the rather obviously unattractive partner has walked up and has been quiet for a while so someone makes a joke about the elephant in the room and they move on.
  
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  - ExtraMedicated@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Who the fuck has conversations about people’s attractiveness? That shit is boring.
    
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    masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Oh wow, such a valid point you have. Just because you think it’s boring I’m sure that’ means that it’s never occurred before.
    
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SolOrion@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
It’s not about being open and honest. It’s about that not being relevant. Your opinion on how someone looks isn’t relevant, helpful, or necessary unless it’s directly asked for.

There’s nothing awkward, nervous, or repressed about not going out of your way to open your mouth and make someone feel bad about themselves. You can simply not fucking say something that crosses your mind.

“Brutally honest” people are incredibly annoying. They think they’ve discovered a social cheat code so they can get away with being an absolute ass because they’re just an Honest Person™.

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- masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  It’s not about being open and honest. It’s about that not being relevant. Your opinion on how someone looks isn’t relevant, helpful, or necessary unless it’s directly asked for.
  
  They could have literally been having a conversation about their relative attractiveness when it came up. At the time I posted this, we didn’t have more context on what exactly was said, beyond the initial incredibly vague description of “comments being made”.
  
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Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

beating around the bush

everything that could possibly be sensitive

Being nervous and awkward

avoiding the elephant in the room

self consciousness

You’re literally strawman-ing what I said. Empathy is considering others. It really is that simple…

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- masterspace@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Yes, and it’s perfectly possible to have commented on someone’s unattractiveness in an empathetic way.
  
  In this case it sounds like neither their friend nor their father did, and I personally wouldn’t because it seems like a minefield, but I have seen cleverer friends and family navigate those minefields.
  
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Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Sounds like someone didn’t check their empathy before posting honestly!

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