Comment on Is Catholic dating culture often mistaken for incel-style pessimistic desperation?

• erin@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  For context I guess, here’s my views on the list you posted, as someone who is very much not religious and dated plenty before finding my fiancee:

  • Marriage might be awesome for some, but it’s also not for everyone, and there are far too many bad marriages that could’ve been good casual relationships

  • Standards are definitely good to have, but I guarantee mine are very different than the average Catholic

  • No shame in being single. Better to be single than in a toxic relationship just for the sake of a relationship.

  • I probably couldn’t see myself marrying a religious person, but if their beliefs don’t infringe on other’s rights then I guess they can do them.

  • Sex is just sex, cohabitation is convenient, cheaper, and pleasant. I’ve never been married and I’ve lived more of my adult life with a roommate or partner than not. I also don’t believe sex needs to be confined within the boundaries of a relationship either, and I have sex with people that aren’t my fiancee, both with and without her, though that’s definitely uncommon and always done with the full consent of all parties.

  • Dating could be for finding a future spouse. It could also just be for fun, or for a casual relationship, or a long term relationship with no intent to marry.

  • Relatively wide variety in how long people date before marriage, if ever. I never planned on it for years, but I met my fiancee and changed my mind. We dated for a year before getting engaged.

  • Normal to date in highschool.

  Obviously this is only my perspective. No judgement, to each their own. Other than the views on polyamory (though more accurately, just sex. Open relationship? I don’t have a label for it), these opinions seem very common among the average dating population. My sample may be skewed since I’m bisexual and over half my relationships have been gay.

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  • dullbananas@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I’m curious, do you think of sex more as “like ice cream but better” or “like hugging but better”?

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    • erin@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I wouldn’t say either. Sex is way more intimate than just hugging. I’d say it’s like “making out” but better. It’s lots of fun, and I don’t care about the societal norms restricting it between romantic partners. Pregnancy isn’t a risk for me, and I’m very careful to avoid STDs. I haven’t had sex with someone without a recent STD panel, and I use protection when necessary. My fiancee feels the same way, so I have sex with my friends all the time

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