til i’m not fulfilling my obligations as a sexual being…?
Comment on Anon talks to a girl
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 week agoMost every person has that moment where they realize that someone was flirting with them, but they were unaware. It’s your obligation as a sexual being to recognize it, not to accept their advances. The implication that they didn’t understand the woman’s meaning is the joke. They’re free to reject it, but they didn’t. They just didn’t notice. So we poke fun.
umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
They’re free to reject it
When I was young, insecure about my sexual inexperience, convinced I was worth less than others, and on 4chan all the time, there were some levels on which I really did not understand that, which led to some uncomfortable situations, and could easily have led to worse ones. Flirting isn’t really something you analyze and make decisions about anyway, if someone isn’t responding to it, maybe that says something about how they are feeling and should be respected regardless of if they understand on a conscious level what is going on.
SpaceShort@feddit.uk 1 week ago
What do you do when you notice some hints but aren’t interested in them romantically, but instead genuinely want to be friends with them?
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Reject their advances but state that you’d like to remain friends. I cannot offer specifics beyond that, as people are complex and relationships are hard. Results oriented phrasing. State it in the way that you believe they’d like to hear it, and will allow you to remain their friend.
SpaceShort@feddit.uk 1 week ago
It’s someone I met recently. My brain noticed they’re interst and went “seems like a great potential friend”. But I’m worried about leading her on if I reach out.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
That’s a hard situation, but breaking it down into incremental pieces might make it simpler. In order to answer your question completely, I’d have to do quite a bit more personal development and many probing questions.
Specific and beneficial internet advice about relationships and friendships is rare for a reason. I wouldn’t ask anyone here anything more than their broad social philosophy, and even that might be poisonous. Hit up the most socially cognizant person you know, as they will have infinitely more context than I do.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I’d argue ignoring their advances while being aware isn’t a very friendly thing to do. Not that you’re obligated to act on their advances, just don’t pretend to be a friend.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
As with all things interpersonal, there is a vast grey area. You can offer your continued friendship and they can offer subtle hints as to their romantic desire as long as they like. Things can also come to a head at any time either party desires. No one is hostage to the situation.
It depends on not just what one defines as friendship, but also on one’s capacity to be a friend to others, whether this is cruel or kind on either end. I understand what result I’d like out of our continued association, and producing that result is usually mutually beneficial. If they intend more than that, is on them to bring about. Inertia is natural. Leading someone on is active and offensive. Not reciprocating or acknowledging unwanted advances is usually not.
Prathas@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
FTFY