Comment on Anon has his way

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Hacksaw@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

From personal experience in casual settings it’s femme/sub coded people that tend to oppose enthusiastic consent. The idea of “agreeing” to various acts doesn’t feel “subby” enough.

I suspect the casual femme/sub role is mentally coded the same was bodice rippers/literary smut content is where a strong masc/dom appears and coercively satisfies all the femme/subs desires without real communication occurring freeing the femme/sub from the “shame” of accepting and expressing their femme/sub desires.

I think it would be, to me, difficult for the concept of enthusiastic consent to come from just one side of the equation. Both partners have to find it sexy for it to be sexy. It needs to enter our sexual zeitgeist, likely through advocacy and proper sexual education.

I have a hard time understanding how to people asking for what they want and expressing what they’d like to do could possibly be unsexy to anyone. Like I’m watching everyone get off and have their sexual needs validated and acted on. Non enthusiastic consent sex is SOMETIMES hot like the movies where two people are on the same wavelength and effortlessly act on eachothers desires. MOST of the time it’s awkward lack of communication leading to uncomfortable positions and the partners ESPECIALLY the femme/sub role having ALMOST what they want, getting CLOSE to amazing orgasm(s), but through lack of communication not really getting there, or settling for less.

Ironically the people who most consistently have “sexy hot movie sex” without having to talk are people who have been having enthusiastic consent sex for a few weeks or months and are playing out a scene they both understand.

Whew, thinking all this out is making me feel some kind of ways!

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