Kids are a really big commitment in a different way because of the psychological and cognitive needs of the child, and it would be a lot better for the kiddos if the parents have their spoons together before the kid arrives. It can be very chaotic and damaging for the child if the parent is getting their stuff together during the developmental periods. This especially goes for pregnancy because mental illness and substance use during pregnancy can seriously affect fetal development in some cases and it can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth if things aren’t sorted out fast enough.
So, maybe having kids might be more viable for fathers, but it’s still not a great idea because disengaged fathers can be damaging to both the baby and the mother.
You have depression so you have 3-4 children to take care of. Then these children have depression again, again needing to have 3-4 children each to have some fun again. In the end, after 5 generations, you end up with 300 grand-grand-grand-grandchildren, and there is no more space, and they are stuck, and have to live with their depression.
Congratulations, you just multiplied your depression by about 300.
That’s a lot more than wallowing in despair will get you.
But yeah, don’t have kids if you’re depressed, they’ll just add a bunch more obligations and expenses, which will deepen whatever problems you have. Do have kids if you find happiness in seeing others succeed through your mentorship.
kamenlady@lemmy.world 7 months ago
a good message all around
papa bless
Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
For real, sometimes the only thing that gets through my apathy is that I want my cats to live their best life
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Have kids, same message.
medgremlin@midwest.social 7 months ago
Kids are a really big commitment in a different way because of the psychological and cognitive needs of the child, and it would be a lot better for the kiddos if the parents have their spoons together before the kid arrives. It can be very chaotic and damaging for the child if the parent is getting their stuff together during the developmental periods. This especially goes for pregnancy because mental illness and substance use during pregnancy can seriously affect fetal development in some cases and it can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth if things aren’t sorted out fast enough.
So, maybe having kids might be more viable for fathers, but it’s still not a great idea because disengaged fathers can be damaging to both the baby and the mother.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Oh, absolutely. I tell everyone to not have kids, knowing that those who should have kids will just ignore me and have them anyway.
My point is just that a lot of motivation in my life comes from my obligations for my kids. It’s similar to having pets, but a lot more extreme.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
that’s a ponzi scheme.
You have depression so you have 3-4 children to take care of. Then these children have depression again, again needing to have 3-4 children each to have some fun again. In the end, after 5 generations, you end up with 300 grand-grand-grand-grandchildren, and there is no more space, and they are stuck, and have to live with their depression.
Congratulations, you just multiplied your depression by about 300.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
That’s a lot more than wallowing in despair will get you.
But yeah, don’t have kids if you’re depressed, they’ll just add a bunch more obligations and expenses, which will deepen whatever problems you have. Do have kids if you find happiness in seeing others succeed through your mentorship.