Comment on When my dad gets drunk at night he shares porn on Facebook

• NOT_RICK@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Taking a shit is natural but that doesn’t mean I want to be subjected to hearing what your morning BM consisted of. Some subjects are rude to broach without making sure the person you’re talking to is open to it.

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• wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Your own image labels it as “sexual initimacy”, which is a very different thing than sexual openness. Both of those, and having frank talks about needs, are also worlds away from “I post my porn choices on fucking facebook”.

  I get that envisioning the path to proper sexual intimacy can be frustrating and confusing when you feel like you aren’t having your needs met…

  but there’s a drastic difference between a parent telling their kid that it’s okay to touch yourself and having a discussion about appropriate time/place (and that porn isn’t realistic, the dangers of forming opinions and expectations based on it, the concepts of kinks and preferences, consent, etc etc there is a lot that people don’t get any proper guidance on), and a parent doing the equivalent of “Yo! Did you see this shit? Makes me rock fucking hard my man! Hot AF!” in front of their kid and potentially in public.

  The proper response to trauma/repression usually isn’t to go to the opposite extreme. A boy who grew up in a household where his father beat his mother shouldn’t cut off his own hands to try and prevent himself from beating his own SO.

  Sexual intimacy is an extension of intimacy, and it shouldn’t be nearly as “hush hush learn it on your own the hard way” as it is. Intimacy in general should be discussed more. I’ve had some wonderfully illuminating, quite explicit discussions with some of my closest friends (with no sexual tension between us. Life isn’t porn).

  But again, big big difference between even something as blatant as “Hey, don’t shy away from being on the recieving end of ass play unless you know it’s not your thing.” (paraphrase of discussion among close friends, all straight men) and sharing “Did you see the new clip? Fucking hawt! My rope hit the fucking ceiling!” to the public.

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  • j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I one hundred percent agree. People take most of what I say outside of the context of my abstractions. I like to use hyperbole a little more than I should, and I choose to withhold judgment in most cases. With something like the OP’s situation, I’m amused by the unexpected nature of the situation and using that as a hyperbolic pivot but am not saying or should be normalized to post about porn per say. I asked the question to get a better feel for how I perceive the situation. I can’t imagine anyone in my family doing this because they are religious extremists. I don’t have to worry about it anyways as I’m in near total social isolation due to physical disability.

    I find lots of interesting aspects of porn that are not rooted in self gratification. I learn a lot about AI from hacking around with diffusion AI code. I can do much of what others can and can’t achieve by messing with the model itself. I’m still no expert by any stretch. I have an interest in many aspects from the photography, to the narrative composition and psychology of porn. I have had an interest in automotive and industrial product design since I was a kid. I also spent years painting cars and spraying custom graphics on the side. I see a lot of art in the shapes of human nudes like the shape of the linea semilunaris. There are many times I see some photography or a video where I notice the artistry. In positioning or perspective view.

    So I’m not saying the OP’s dad is in any mindset like this, but these are within mine. I’m much more conservative than person. I wish it was more acceptable to talk about the complexities surrounding sex and nudity without reactions like this post reply has gotten. I wish people here had the self awareness and complexity to discuss instead of discourage. It often feels like a room full of children that lack engaging or thoughtful nuance here.

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