Comment on [deleted]
j4k3@lemmy.world 20 hours agoNot saying it is like normal or anything. Am saying society in general in the west has far too authoritarian mindsets that are just dumb. If you go telling this girl she doesn’t matter, at that age, you’re shooting yourself in both feet and likely the head as far as she is concerned. She will not stop because anyone said so. She might listen to some amount of reasoning, but dogmatism has absolutely no chance of reaching a better place. It has a very good chance of getting MUCH worse.
That is true, for an adult issue, a serious and adult conversation must happen with this girl, even if it could be okay, the situation itself should be evaluated because it can get very gnarly. We don’t know much about OPs way to handle it, but it’s also possible this specific situation is fine.
Either way, I agree that just telling your daughter to stop doing something she clearly feels like doing, even if she has a distorted view of that something, is not going to help anyone.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 hours ago
How does that have anything to do with a creepy 38 year old dating a 17 year old?
j4k3@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
It has to to with the reality of love and relationships from this young lady’s perspective. It has to do with me refusing to reduce any person to a two dimensional assumption about them based on a single outlier metric. It is a respect for the autonomy of all humans. It is also a rejection of the backwardness and conflicting nonsense present in cultural norms. Like how the age of majority in much of the world is under 25 when science has proven that cognitive adulthood does not happen until this age. Majority is kept at 18 for moldable child soldiers that are just strong enough to fight but easily manipulated into fighting for criminal reasons like corporate interests. These types of ethics have no moral ground at all but are the foundation of Western morality. Nature has the ultimate say in physiological consent. Like it or not, that is irrelevant to the truth of science and observation. Read carefully and note that I have never once stated anything I believe here about what the age of majority or consent should be so far. What I really believe is that assumptions and stereotypes always hurt some minority of people. The more simple the stereotype is, the larger the hurt minority will be in every instance. Therefore I try to be very careful about judging others in ways that use simple stereotypes and restrict them in ways that might hurt them. So it is not my place to say. She is a kid and will likely make really dumb decisions, but so do most of us when under 25, and I wholely reject basing my ethics on child soldiers. In practice, everyone appreciates their own right to self determination. It is an unalienable human right. You have a right to be stupid, and a right to make mistakes, just like everyone has a right to try and warn someone of the dangers of the path they are taking and thinks like the limited perspective and depth of understanding inherent to youth. She will be a different person in 10 years time, but it is not up to me to assume I can speak for her now or for that person in her future. She is a product of her environment and I am not. I respect her as a fellow human and do not enslave her to my tribal ethics and assumptions.