Man. Back when I was doing that work I took my principles very seriously. I never looked through people’s private files. If I happen to stumble on something accidentally, I never mentioned it.
This made me think about what a spaz I was when I was young.
I worked at a call center in my early 20s and I was hanging out with this beautiful redhead. I thought she was so far out of my league that I never stood a chance, so I never even thought about it. She was 100% my friend in my mind.
One day she told me that she needed her computer sped up. Told me there was nothing wrong with it, she just wanted to see if I could speed it up. We were tight enough at that point that I told her I would do it for free. We spent our lunches together, drove to the bank and cashed our checks together. We were good friends.
She said, “in my documents. There is a folder titled dance lessons. It’s full of naked pictures of me.”
I said, “Don’t you worry about it. I will not look at those photos. I will respect your privacy 100%.”
She replied, “Oh no I want you to look at them. I want you to see all of them and then tell me what you think.”
So you know what I did, I looked at them. I came back to work the next day with her computer. I sped it by disabling fading effects, and things like that, animations when minimizing and maximizing. Just a basic crap.
She looked at me and said, “So what did you think of my naughty pictures?“ I replied, “You are absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous.”
That was that, it was time to clock in. Couple months later, a mutual friend of ours told me that she confided in him that she had been trying hard to move on me for months and was fully convinced that I was a homosexual.
By that point, she was already in a serious relationship with a manager who worked there. They ended up getting married and having a child, they are divorced now.
Jesus Christ, I was just terrible. I was oblivious to everything around me. I swear there’s something wrong with me.
Who knows what would have happened? All I know is that I am happy with the course that my life has taken, but it is still something I look back at and cringe at my younger self.
lurch@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Im gray aro technically. But the last of my interest is gone due to this exact form of relationship trauma. I am happier though i feel like.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Good lord, my ex. Everything was a guessing game with her and she liked it that way because if things were calm and normal she wasn’t happy.
I’m so happy to be in a relationship with someone where we say what we mean and communicate our needs.
Pandantic@midwest.social 4 weeks ago
I feel this so much - why not just say what you want/need? It makes relationships so much easier. I will admit, it took a lot of fumbles for me to realize that, tho. 😅
WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
I apologize but i guess ive just come to the conclusion that such a thing is illusory. All relationships break down eventually. And i think anyone who doesnt think all things die over time is rather naive.
Ive realized im happier not chasing something that doesnt exist and isnt attainable even if others seem to think it exists for short or long moments of their lives.
I think communication breakdown is inevitable and its why 2025 has gone the way it has.
Maybe im wrong and all things can actually be immortal or timeless but i see no evidence. I just wish people wouldnt gaslight everyone around them into thinking romance isnt subject to death. Its why im like this in the first place. Its a massive lie and its harmful to spread. As harmful as the soulmate concept.
Buuut i dont have interest anymore so i guess i just dont deal with it or care. It just makes me sad to watch friends go through the same pointless cycles i did. It often feels like i only recently took a step back and realized how crazy i was for desiring such a thing. When i see others in romance i just pity them. They dont know its going to end. And the cycle will start over.
People can say communication this communication that. But you only communicate until things change. And with change as a constant it is a repetetive and pointless cycle i wish to avoid i suppose.
At least this is how i see it. Im sure many will think of this as a negative view rather than a practical view.