Sounds like John Mulaney’s drug dealer.
‘…counselor, who told him to delete and block his drug dealer. “It’s called ‘breaking up with your drug dealer.’ I texted my main dealer, Arvin — I shouldn’t have said his name, but that’s OK, you don’t know him.”
“I said, ‘Hey, I’m deleting and blocking you. I’m sober now, I’m never gonna buy drugs again,’” John said. “But I’m really polite, so I didn’t know how to end the text, so I said, ‘But thank you, for all the nights that became days and your inspired professionalism.’”
“Before I can delete and block him, he texts me back and goes, ‘Hey, I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy that you got sober. You know, I only bought drugs to sell to you, because I was worried about you, and I didn’t want you to get worse stuff off the streets.’”
John then made a face like, “AW!” and said, “I know, and I’m breaking up with this guy?! So, I text him back, and go, ‘You sweet man. You only bought drugs to sell to me? Did you sell drugs to other people?’”
“He said, ‘No, I’m a painter. We talked about this.’ Ladies and gentleman, I have no idea how I know this person. So I texted him, ‘How did it come to be — that you sold me drugs?’” Arvin wrote back that he didn’t know either, but John just kept asking.’
JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Some dealers are cool folk who just like weed. I went to the wedding of one of mine many years ago.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Word. Well, weed dealers anyway.
But one of my nieces used to date a weed dealer. A lot of the family was sketched out, wouldn’t invite them to stuff, that kind of thing.
But dude was like the (probably fictional) bro in the greentext. Just a genuine, caring dude.
He was a mechanic as a legal job. Guy carried a kit in his truck, jumper cables, basic tools, air compressor, water jugs, that kind of thing. Plus snacks. If he ran across someone stranded, he’d do his best to get them back on the road.
More than once, he’d hear through the grapevine that my old car was having trouble, and just fucking show up. I’d hear noise in the driveway, look out, and he’s unloading gear to fix things.
Wouldn’t take a dime, other than parts if they were needed, and usually could get parts cheap. Kept that old junker on the road for about three years past when it should have died lol.
I’d keep him supplied with his beverage of choice while he was working, we’d shoot the shit. I don’t smoke weed, and he rarely did (can’t make a profit if you’re using), but he’d enjoy a beer or three. Once the work was done, he’d chill long enough to make sure the beer wasn’t enough to bring his blood alcohol to a bad level. Many an hour spent on the front stoop just enjoying an evening.
They ended up breaking up, but we still talk now and then. Great dude.
JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I loved reading that, thanks for the share. I should’ve mentioned I was talking about weed dealers, though I’m glad that part was filled in haha.
It’s a shame about the breakup but it’s awesome you’re still in touch. Few people I used to toke with who are no longer here, and they were equally as lovely.