All about that bass

Comments

• MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  My favorite thing about bass is that if you feed them 6 tabs of acid and put them in a bathtub filled with water and food coloring they get really into it and start dancing around and going fuckin nuts. It’s even more fun if you take 6 tabs of acid and get in the bath with it, eventually though something happens where it swallows your dong and you freak out because you think it’s turning you into a mermaid but then you cum and laugh your ass off for 10 minutes straight just gasping for breath because you just got blown by a fish. Just watch out because the last time I did this I fainted from laughing too hard and drowned in the tub. The fish also died but somehow I reincarnated as it so then I was just a bass in a tub with some dead loser in it so I hopped out of the tub into the toilet and swam to the safety of my local sewage treatment plant where I was shredded to bits and chemically treated then hauled to a farm in a truck full of sludge and sprayed all over a field where a crop of tomatoes grew. That whole part was a blur but somehow my consciousness managed to stay the entire time until the tomatoes I was got canned into pizza sauce and some guy named Roger bought it and made pizza at home. Long story short I took over Rogers body and now I get to be human again. Next week I’m going fishing and hopefully I can catch a nice bass and do it all over again.

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  • eta@feddit.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The circle of life religions don’t wasn’t you to know about

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  • QuandaleDingle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This has to be an original pasta. A pasta that needs to be copied, cuz damn. XD

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  • guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That story is so sad! I can’t believe that happened to you :(

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• Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I thought it was somethink like: 👄🎸

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• YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Take me to the river Drop me in the water

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  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Don’t worry, be happy

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• guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Daaaamn, look at the ass on that thang

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