question(s) about etiquette in MMORPGs

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org⁩ to ⁨games@lemmy.world⁩

hi folks, hope all are well today. new’ish gamer and i have a question about etiquette in MMORPGs.

are there proper ways to engage people in game? it seems strange to me to randomly ask someone to be friends. i also don’t see many ways to strike up conversations (if that’s the proper way to refer to it).

for additional context, in a game like Throne & Liberty or FFXIV, there are tons of people running around doing their thing. do you just whisper to someone and say hi? do you comment on their character or if you saw them do something interesting / cool?

or, for something like The First Descendant you may run a mission with a bunch of random people and then everyone goes their separate ways. but, if that group was cool (and good) do you quickly try to friend everyone?

personal context (if it helps / matters), console gamer (PlayStation don’t judge please, haha), really introverted / anxious around strangers IRL, older play (mid 50s) and ultimately… afraid of looking like a weirdo 😀

apologies in advance if this topic was already discussed (happy to check another post if some can point me to it). also, apologies if i don’t directly respond to every message, although i will read them all.

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Brokkr@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Give all of those things a try. None of them are “wrong”. Experiment and see what works best with the type of people you want to spend time with. Just don’t get discouraged if your success rate is low (some people just won’t be interested) and respect people’s decisions if they choose to ignore you.

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  solid advice right here. thank you so much, i’ll experiment a little and see how it goes… i’m probably over thinking some of this as well 😆
  
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CMLVI@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I would avoid zone-wide chats. They end up in pissing contests about who’s cooler, edgier, better, etc. Local or proxy chat let’s you talk to a party directly in front of you, like you are actually addressing the person instead of the name in a chat box.

As to what you should say, say the first thing that comes to mind, short of “want to buy GF”. Find similar minded people. Additionally, join guilds or discords. Check the game sub for guild finder stuff, join medium sized guilds that are doing content you like. Be prepared to leave if you don’t feel like you fit or it doesn’t mesh well. The beauty of MMOs is they generally have a decent sized player base, you’ll find community somewhere. They just rarely come find you.

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  They just rarely come find you yeah, that makes sense, the onus is on me to find people. agreed on the chat thing. again, still trying to figure it all out but some of the zone / game wide chat is… interesting, to say the least.
  
  i think when a get a little further along, i may look into guilds. my only concern is that it becomes a second full time job. however, as one person mentioned, “leave if you’re not happy” (to paraphrase that posters comment).
  
  will do on the take the thoughts out of your head advice!
  
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  - CMLVI@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Nah, I haven’t played ESO as part of the guild in over a month. I still get on and do some stuff, but it’s solo stuff or just with a group who linked up. Unless you’re joining an end-game guild, I’d say the function is more social than content. T&L maybe a little different, but the point of the big guilds is that you can join, and you have a group of “vetted” players you fit in with to play when you want to. It is what you make of it, y’know?
    
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GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I am an ultimate raider in FFXIV. If I am traveling around, ask away. One of the greatest things about our community is there a bunch of people that love to help and teach. But you have to be honest about where you are at. If you don’t know, say something. But if you pretend to be further ahead and people are expecting to beat something, it will be awkward. But that’s raiding. The rest is just finding what you like about it. There are usually tons of discord channels that helps you find what you are interested in.

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  understood about you don’t know, say something. for me that’s easy, i’m not one to say i know things when i don’t. appreciate the feedback.
  
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  - GladiusB@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    It’s just a basic courtesy. You will get far more people willing to help by saying “I don’t know this, how do I [enter whatever you need to know]” good luck out there!
    
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djmichaelb@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You should take a look at this YouTube documentary by Folding Ideas which addresses the shift in behaviours regarding MMORPGs: youtu.be/BKP1I7IocYU?si=ed6-L2QZf40GbEwA

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  thank you for the link! i will set aside some time tonight to check it out. i can only imagine the number of different mindsets / attitudes and such in a single game, let alone different games.
  
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rockerface@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’ve had random people whisper me to compliment my character’s hat and ask where did I get the cosmetic in Elder Scrolls Online. To be fair, it was a pretty silly hat.

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- Sabata11792@ani.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Noting inflates the ego like a random whisper asking how you got a badass mount.
  
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  - randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    also, solid advice, i think i’ll keep this one in mind as well!
    
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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  thank you for this, simple but sounds effective. i’ll have to go find the player in T&L that was running around as turkey and asked they pulled that off 🤣
  
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garretble@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
For FFXIV, specifically, if you are looking to add some friends I’d say start by hanging out one of the three starting cities (Gridania, Limsa, Ul’Dah) near the Aetherytes. Often people are just hanging and chatting some there. Limsa, on my server at least, seems to just be filled with people all the time hanging out. And you may even see some open calls for people to join Free Companies (Guilds). Those people are actively looking for new blood, so you could start up a discussion with them and see if their group is something you’d like to join. By doing so you may be able to get several friends pretty quick that way. Just remember that you owe nothing to those folks, and if the free company vibe doesn’t feel right once you get in, then bounce.

But commenting on someone’s look is fine, too! People work hard to collect or craft certain pieces of gear and dye them to make their character the way they want so if you notice something cool chances are they will be happy to talk about it.

There was one time last year during a Live Letter (this is a live streamed event the producers of the game do a few times a year) I went to Limsa and said to anyone who could hear it that I’d be “over by [a specific bench] to discuss the Live Letter” and lots of people I didn’t know gathered around and we all had a fun chat about the event as it streamed.

Or even if you have questions, say them out loud in a crowded space and chances are someone will help. FF14 is notorious for people NOT being trash, so most often you’ll find helpers before finding jerks.

And I promise that you can’t out-weirdo the weirdos that run around pretty much any game, so try to not worry about that.

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  appreciate the advice on getting conversations started. i think i’ll work up the nerve to give that a try in the near future. also, thank you for you can’t out-weirdo… that makes it easier to handle 😀
  
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PunchingWood@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I’ve played WoW basically since it ever came out like 19/20 years ago, just after Guild Wars 1 and among many other MMOs for shorter times. And communication in MMORPGs has definitely been a lot better back in the days, or at least felt more engaged than it does now. Now it’s often been difficult to get people to talk, even after like a good dungeon run people will often just leave without having said an entire word the entire dungeon. It’s not as chatty as it used to be back in the days, and a lot of people are the toxic type that only respond when something goes wrong.

I think your best bet would be to join guilds in these games. I used to be in great guilds as well, where everyone could talk to each other in guild chat, but it kinda devolved into an alternative looking-for-group chat over the years since most guilds just invite anyone to get the guild bonusses and have easier access to people wanting to do raids and dungeons and stuff.

Guilds often don’t feel like the band of friends they used to be, and more like a collection of people doing the same type of content. It’s like most players just treat MMO games like a second job, they log in, do their chores, and log off again. But you can get lucky and run into a great guild that’s more casual, it heavily depends on the game and servers though.

In the past years I found that local chat is mostly used by roleplayers, WoW has a few servers where a lot of roleplayers flock to, and it really helped make the world feel alive as well. As for everyday non-RP chat, it just feels like most MMO games turned into a singleplayer game where you run around doing your own thing, with a lot of other people that are also playing their own game.

I do think that free-to-play games are worse when it comes to communication though, since anyone can hop in, and it often attracts the most toxic entitled people. The paywall with games like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy Online definitely help filter out the majority of them though.

On a side note, I often play shooters as well. And I really hated voice chat in basically all of them, since most of them were just kids screaming vile things about mothers and what not, so I just ended up turning it off. Eventually I started playing Squad, which is a more serious Battlefield type of game with voice chat that attracts a more mature audience. At first I was a bit hesitant to use voice chat at all, but now I absolutely love talking with random players and couldn’t imagine the game without voice chat, most fun I’ve had with complete strangers in any game.

Sometimes it’s just a step to get over, and it gets easier. It’s worth giving it a shot in the games you play, but I would say it’s more likely to have a better experience outside of free-to-play games since there’s a lower chance of running into toxic players ruining the vibe.

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- randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  MMO games turned into a singleplayer game sort of the vibe i get now but, your other advice makes sense. again, i think the guild thing is interesting but, didn’t want it to turn into a job. the free vs. played is an interesting comment. as i progress, i’ll see how that turns out.
  
  the thing with voice chat, TBH, is i’m not sure if i’m hearing people or if it’s “in game stuff”. in TFD the other night i hear “i need help” but i had no way of knowing if it was a person saying it or some in game thing. i’ll have to pay more attention to that.
  
  appreciate your perspective as a long time MMORGP player, this was helpful.
  
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