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HK65@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Ask about their hobbies and let them talk about it, show interest.
You don’t have to be a pro Counterstrike player or a drummer in their band, but playing a match with them every month on a weekend or chatting them up about how the rehearsal went can’t hurt.
What hobbies does your son have?
kqzy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
quixotic120@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
your son sounds badass, read some shoujo and meet tom nook while spinning brat
Bumblefumble@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
You’re telling me you can’t appreciate art, eating food your son has made, or playing a simple game like the Sims or Minecraft? What do you like then?
And if he’s like his mother, how do you get along with her?
kqzy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
[deleted]WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I hear so many opportunities in there. He likes painting, you like woodworking, make wood panels to paint and design the ideas together—you could even paint them while camping and drawing inspiration from what you see. You like gardening, he likes cooking, collaborate on home grown meals together. Hell, you can even design an elaborate garden in the Sims.
There are opportunities to step into each others world and see what fits, but you have to step into his just as much as he steps into yours.
ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
First of all, you actually know what your son is into and want to connect with him which is awesome. That makes you a good dad right away.
He likes cooking and you like outdoorsy stuff, so BBQ sounds like a good overlap.
Anime is a wide enough genre that it has options for you. Blue Lock is a currently popular show about soccer players. That might be something you both could watch. Also, just watch Cowboy Bebop with him. Everyone likes Cowboy Bebop.
For games, Stardew Valley has lots of fishing, foraging, and dungeon delving elements that you would probably enjoy if you game at all. (You might also see if your son just wants to take walks in the woods since it’s such a pastoral game that might appeal) Minecraft is something everyone can enjoy. It’s digital Legos more or less.
Personally I find knitting oddly enjoyable in a lot of the same ways as woodworking. You are making something tangible which is great. It takes a lot of patience and persistence. You are working with a medium that doesn’t always cooperate the way you want but that’s part of the challenge.
sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Just choose any of these things and participate with him. You could take him to a bookstore or library if he likes reading. Learn to cook steaks together (or teach him). Play Minecraft together. Have him show you how to knit (or take him to the store for knitting supplies). Watch YouTube tutorials on something he likes.
I get it, I have a kiddo that is super into in ground sprinkler systems and space heaters. Sometimes it is hard to find a way to participate.
nop@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
CS as in computer science? Go minecraft. Learn how to play with him. Then learn about redstone. Then you can show him amazing things you can do in minecraft with programming.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Cooking and outdoor BBQ seems to be a match, but even so, even talking about hobbies can be nice. Just ask him about how it’s going what bands he likes, and see if you can take him to a concert or get him an album for example. He’ll enjoy the concert, you’ll be there for the time spent together. Or the painting-woodworking thing someone said.
I think the trick is to approach it from an angle of “I want to participate in your hobby with you”, and see what you can bring to it, and that might get him hooked on reciprocating. Trying to get him to go first with doing the same might more likely result in disinterest.
electric@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I can see why you made this post. What a peculiar set of interests. Could probably find some crafts to do with him.
rami@ani.social 2 weeks ago
peculiar? those are all very common interests, just stereotypically feminine
electric@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d be saying the same if OP’s son was his daughter. I’d never have guessed them.
NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
You just have to ask about stuff. If they have a close relationship with their mom and you’re good at bonding with her then it should be very similar.
Relationships can be like a workout where it takes a bit of effort and energy but after a while it’ll get easier. At least that’s how it is with coworkers for me. I talk and ask questions and try to throw a joke in there and see what sticks, after a while we’re regular ol buds
Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This, ask questions, listen to the answers. If the personalities are so very different, I would make sure that i bring an extra dose of patience and chill, so that any moments where the personalities might ‘clash’ or find each other can be passed with respect and empathy, instead of frustration and emotion.
If I need more ‘connection power’, I will omit any negative comments that might float up my brain and keep them for myself for a while, and only focus on sharing my positive or neutral (philosophical?) thoughts about the current subject. Hope you can find some points to connect, but taking this kind of step to help that along is already a great sign :-). If you could update us in a while, I would love that.