Comment on Anon has marital problems
Krauerking@lemy.lol 16 hours agoSociety does not have the end-all of best of humanity in mind. Often it just means productive at work and cares little for your well being.
You can self improve but that’s not fixing anything. That’s just getting better at not being a burden to others. But the burden is the point. We are all in it together and are a burden on each other. But we do it anyways.
Don’t tell people that they can be “fixed” that is nonsense and just makes them feel more of a burden without the kindness.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
The burden is not the point. You should be improving people’s lives, not making them worse. Unless by “burden” you mean like the mundane parts of dealing with living with other people, which is not what I’m talking about.
Krauerking@lemy.lol 15 hours ago
I do mean the little things. But it also is the big ones. A loved one can need you to help them do paperwork, or they could be dying of an incurable disease and raging against the end.
I’m saying expecting everyone to work to make your life easier to be around them ignores that everyone has their own issues to deal with and we are constantly impacting each other.
It’s good to work on yourself and we all should but expecting it as the only way to be around people is not reasonable for how humanity is. We are flawed emotional creatures.
We burden those we love in lots of ways waiting on them to be fixed to show love doesn’t make it seem like you loved them at all. You love people knowing they can change not waiting until they do.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Ok, but I didn’t say it was the only way to be around people. You said that it was impossible.
I think what you’re meaning to say is right, but what you’re actually saying isn’t consistent so it can’t be as right as you’re trying to express.
Krauerking@lemy.lol 14 hours ago
You can’t be someone else. It’s impossible to look at someone else as the perfect human and tell everyone else to be like them.
That’s the impossible.
Life is complex. Speaking about it does not make it less so. It’s hard (if not impossible) to get the words that mean what I think in my head to mean the same to others.
My point is as consistent as it can be. Give love, don’t wait for people to be better to do so. Look out for yourself sure, but don’t avoid burdens for ease of a gentler life.