You know what? If they want to turn him into a martyr, I want to turn him into a saint. St. Luigi of Baltimore. In fact, I want to erect a big statue of him, something deliberately over the top and in bad taste. Like how Dante wrote his political enemies into Hell.

Think of the classical paintings and statues of St. Michael casting Satan into Hell. Image

I want to crowd fund a big bronze statue like this. Except Luigi is St. Michael and Thompson is Satan. Thompson can be holding a scroll that reads “delay deny depose.”

I say we put a gaudy statue like this somewhere near United Healthcare’s headquarters in Minnesota. Just this classical bronze of their former CEO as the Devil himself, being thrown into literal Hell by St. Luigi of Boston. Make them drive past the damn thing every day on the way to the office.

The dedication on the plinth can read “In Memory of St. Luigi of Boston. Tear down this monument when Americans no longer die from lack of healthcare.”

The bastards want to make him a martyr? I say we make him a SAINT.