Comment on Currently happening
JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 week ago
I’m copying this from a comment I made on a thread about ghosting people.
I ghosted someone I knew on Discord. They were exceptionally clingy. Like message me four times a day, every day, without me messaging in between. Message me the second I get online. It was so annoying. Constantly asking me if I was mad at them after I didn’t answer them immediately. Even after I told them I wasn’t mad and not to think I am if I don’t answer. I told them so many times that the only thing that was annoying me was them thinking I was annoyed when I don’t answer immediately. Just so so pouty all the time. I couldn’t handle it.
I took a break from Discord for other reasons and when I came back I just ignored them. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
From the way other people talked to them on servers and things they said, I get the feeling this is a common pattern with them. They start to make some friends, then get super clingy and sobby if you don’t answer them right away and people get frustrated and stop talking to them. Which sucks, but, I’d told them so so so many times exactly what they were doing that was annoying me and they never stopped. It’s so infuriating for someone to just be so sad about something and for you to try and tell them in no uncertain terms “I’m not mad at you, but when you think I am mad because I don’t answer right away it makes me annoyed. Just stop that. That’s all I’m upset about.”
I had lots of these situations on Steam.
I played a game, liked my time with a player, and they’d send me a friend request. But then it was daily messages about what I was doing, when I would play again, and often some sap story about why I’m important to them.
This was a constant thing that kept happening.
Yeah it’s just too much.
I’m trying to be more proactive about telling people exactly that, to give them a chance to adjust, before I’ve bottled it up out of misplaced politeness and need to cut off contract.
My sister deals with it all the time since she helps refugees who often can’t get work permits, and feel extremely alone on a different continent where almost no one speaks their language. So they maybe understandably cling to the one person that does. I admire her patience.
Maxxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
It’s a bad habit, to revolve your world around a single person. Desperation and lack of self-confidence is hella unattractive, in any type of relationship.
A mistake that I luckily did not make, ever, not once.