Comment on Anon gives up dating apps
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 month agoeveryone in the bar was eyeing her
Eh, I take that as exaggeration. I’m guessing a lot of that was in OP’s head.
“walk of shame” away from her
OP was with friends. Yeah, they probably would’ve given him a hard time, but it would’ve come from a place of support.
It’s scary to put yourself out there, and most of the time it doesn’t pay off. But at the end of the day, you need to take a chance every now and then or you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
Maalus@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I don’t take that as an exaggeration. Someone in a club dress, attractive, walking into a regular bar and sitting alone will turn heads, even as a curiosity rather than lust or romantic interest. Regulars will be eyeballing for sure, you don’t see that every day. Random five dudes comming in in jeans, going off to play pool? Happens all the time.
When talking of the walk of shame, the friends are the least you worry about. I’m talking about the bar, the laughs etc. It will happen when you go so confidently and get shut down immediately. I wouldn’t be much bothered, but would still need to walk the walk when shut down
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Right, but the implication was that she was a bombshell, or at least that’s how I read it.
Eh, I care far less about what random people in a bar think than what my friends think. I can always go to a different bar, I can’t as easily get new friends, and good friends would go with me to that other bar if I felt uncomfortable after being completely shot down.
That said, most people don’t particularly care. You might get a couple of snickers, but most just want to keep to themselves. At least that’s been the case at the bars I’ve been to.
Maalus@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If you take everything that someone says and say “oh I don’t care about that” then no argument can be made. It’s a social situation where someone getting shut down is a humiliation. You say “I can always go to a different bar” which when you don’t care about random people, you wouldn’t need to do.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Sure. I’m just saying that, for the typical person, the humiliation from others being present is probably very little compared to the humiliation from the actual rejection. Maybe that’s different at college bars or something, but in most regular bars, most people don’t care. At least for me, I’m just as nervous walking up to someone in a bar as I am at a club (even fewer people looking) or something, approaching a stranger is the main thing causing the nervousness.