India would be amy Libertarian’s wettest dream if only they weren’t incredibly racist. Worker’s rights are almost non-existent due to a neverending supply of fresh labor at any skill level, barely any environmental regulations enforced by the government, and is essentially just a capitalist free for all.
Mango@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I’m gonna need someone to explain what libertarian is again.
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
Thank you for letting me post this. Here is a copypasta that helps explain it:
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Mango@lemmy.world 1 week ago
LMAO
Allonzee@lemmy.world 1 week ago
They claim to believe in maximum freedom regardless of the societal consequences.
A classic example is imagining the only water source for a hundred miles in any direction being claimed or purchased someone. A libertarian would tell you that they should be entitled to sell that water for any price they like regardless of how many people will die as a direct consequence, and they insist one of the state’s only functions is to shoot the people that try to take the water rather than die.
If you corner one in a debate, they’ll eventually admit that the personal freedom without accompanying social responsibility is the only thing that matters, and that society probably won’t be able to function as a result, but it was worth the collapse to maximize the freedom of the individual… to be a sociopathic dick.
They’re kind of modern Republicans minus the “because supply side Jesus told me so” Schick that absolves them of moral responsibility for their antisocial opinions and positions. Libertarians don’t tend to care about the veneer of finding a reason to blame the people who got hurt by their bulldozers, “they have a bulldozer so they win lol.”
Most billionaires conduct themselves as libertarians. Cut taxes to the bone, with the sole exception being the defense/police/court system infrastructure that protects their Ill gotten dragon hoards from those they exploited it from.
Mango@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Kinda hilarious how they seem to want no control structures in their way so that they can run their own specific control structure.
BakerBagel@midwest.social 1 week ago
They essentially just want a return to feudalism, but they know that would get them laughed out of any serious discussions, so they dress it up as “economic liberty”
Aceticon@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Of course the really juicy contradiction in their claims that their ideology is about Liberty is that Money and Ownership are actually restrictions on every else’s freedom - you literally can’t go into the land somebody owns withour their authorization and money can at will stop you from getting other resources you need by outbidding you.
Maybe the single greatest scam that Libertarians have played on everybody, especially the “Modern” Left, was to overload everybody with meaningless discussions and focus on Effects rather than Causes, to the point of silencing the much older discussions and thinking about Money and of Ownership as the greatest forms of Power and Control Over Others in the modern age.
Evotech@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Tldr: “I should be able to do whatever I want”
edgemaster72@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Here’s an illustrated version
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