I’m really sorry to hear this.
On your last point, this would largely depend on the country. I say this as someone that has worked with charities that cater to those that are less able, albeit usually with children or young adults that have moved with family. I know first-hand that it is possible - at least to the UK as I had worked on HCI for accessible online resources. Obviously, every case is unique, and it sounds like if you cannot travel this wouldn’t work for you.
It sucks to say, but the reason I mentioned an amount is because people set up GoFundMe for things that are less severe than your situation. If you are at a point where you’re seriously considering prison as a way to survive, I’m sure the fediverse could rally to help in some way, even if it’s just enough to ensure you can afford some more food for the next few months.
j4k3@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Thanks friend. I am not so bad off at the moment. I am unfortunately quite aware of the direction I’m headed. I struggle to avoid thinking about it at this point. I’m deeply motivated to try and make something of myself but after 10 years I empirically know my limitations. That hopeless frustration is quite destructive.
As mentioned elsewhere in comments, this post was primarily intended as therapeutic to help with the depressing news of getting denied disability for the second time in 4 years. I expected the negative outcome and the news itself does not bother me per say, but such negatives tend to compound with the guilt of burdening my family, and social isolation factors. I’m trying to stop a potential spiral before it starts by using the feeling of i increasing awareness of the problem through hyperbolic expression of a logical potential solution I use as a mental mechanism to tell myself that ending things now is not just an acceleration of an inevitable eventuality. From that perspective, your actionable enthusiasm is very helpful to me. Thanks. One day I will likely need you or someone of the like. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but I do not invest emotion in such hope after the disappointments life has dealt me. I don’t value sympathy like I do actions and understanding. So thanks again, for the attitude that matters most to me.