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Comment on I've heard it clears up again after the first wave of divorces

I worked for one of the major dating sites about a decade ago. Let me assure you, that people act like debased hyperhormonal chimps in heat when they think nobody is watching. Oh, and by the way - someone is ALWAYS watching.

If you’re a male who has some combination of a steady job, are remotely reliable, not drug or booze addled, have most of your teeth and hair and can tell a joke and hold a conversation - you’re golden. It is UTTERLY unfair to ladies, but just being able to hold that low bar will get you much farther than you might think.

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BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
I think the joke and hold a good conversation are where I run into problems.

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- CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  I can’t keep jobs because of my agoraphobia, and anxiety. I was thinking of volunteering at the library, but transportation sucks in my city, and I don’t drive. I have mental rumination, and depression, while I also suck at keeping a good conversation. I do a lot of sucking, but not the good kind, except when I have a bowl of noodles.
  
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- TwinkleToes@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  That there is already a good self deprecating joke. Don’t sell yourself short. Unless you ARE short, then may I recommend entering the priesthood
  
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sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
This is a good ad.

Except that “the women” on your sites are often bots controlled by the site. Men will drag themselves through hell when they’re led on by a bot, too. And the site gets to control the bots.

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INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Surely they can’t start browsing DMs?

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- bitfucker@programming.dev ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Anything not advertised as E2EE can be assumed to have some 3rd party able to look at the conversation, malicious or not.
  
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- TwinkleToes@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Of course. How do you investigate harassment and identify site-killing lunatics without keyword searching.
  
  It’s all stored and anyone who needs to see stuff their site hosts can get it. Plus - you’d be surprised how much criminal activity people are willing to discuss with strangers.
  
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