Ok everybody. New plan. Everybody vote for me. Here’s my platform. Fuck EVERYBODY!!! Equally. No racism. No discrimination. You ALL get a middle finger to the face. In fact, fuck the donkey, fuck the elephant, my party emblem is a big middle finger. The fucking party. Don’t you want to join the fucking party? I know you want to join the fucking party. You know how hitler had the hitler salute? Well we have giving people the finger. Thats our partys gesture. In fact, do two middle fingers! Double up, mother fuckers!

And my campaign promise? I will fuck up this country at a slower rate than these two old geezers. Actually, first day in office, my first official act as president will be to give both of them the finger.

My second act will be bacon. Just…just bacon.